the end!

1. went ziplining today and it was so much fun! got to see a lot of my friends and spent a long time on the course. it felt really nice and was beautiful weather. 
2. getting ready to go out and spend time with all my friends from high school and some from college! can't wait for hopefully a fun-filled night. happy new year's eve errybody!!!
3. http://shine.yahoo.com/page/2011-horoscope read all about it! i read mine already...they're pretty fun. 

i wanna celebrate and live my life, saying ay-oh, gotta let go. these are appropriate lyrics with which to start this final blog post. i am all torn up inside about it...i can't believe it's ending. i really don't want it to...but all things must come to an end. it's been an insane year and i would not have traded it for the world. i have done some reflecting already in the past few blog posts, but this is different. i didn't have time today to go back and read all my old posts, so i will do that tomorrow. new year's day. seems pretty appropriate. i am just as sad to see 2010 go as i am excited to usher in 2011. so much happened in my personal life and in my academic life. the year of the tiger was promised to be eventful and crazy and exciting and how i started off my new year last year was a pretty accurate reflection of that...this year is different. it is the year of the rabbit and things are supposed to be smoother and more about living the life that the year of the tiger set up. i am fine with that; i am very happy with the life i lead going into 2011 and i am more than excited to continue that, but also to embrace any changes that come my way (but of course still trying my hardest to keep things the same). that has been a big part of why 2010 had so much change for me. i learned to embrace it rather than fight against it and it served me well. but i am still a fan of tradition, don't get me wrong. i feel like people are expecting a lot from this blog post. i mean, i am too, for goodness' sake, but i feel like i have almost said it all. here's to a wonderful year in the blogosphere. thanks a million to my readers and supporters. maybe check back every now and then and see if i have posted any new updates. but for me, it's time to say goodnight and good luck. not good luck, really, that's just from the movie title. but i truly appreciate all the support and i hope that people can take what they wish from this blog, but especially that it was a positive experience for me and i am happy with myself for doing it. so...i will continue to fly and say c'est la vie. xoxo, farewell!

TFM

1. woke up early and went to go visit family and have a nice meal. it was a good day! my cousins are adorable and the food was great. 
2. can't wait for tomorrow! and the entire weekend actually. yippee!!!
3. this bowl game has been ridiculous so far...i can only imagine how this is going to end...hopefully with a win for us...UPDATE: WE WIN!!!!!

this is my last blog post before my for real last one that is themed. i can't even come up with what to say. i feel so much pressure! but all i have to say is that this has been a helluva year and i wouldn't trade all the craziness and all the change. see, i can change! i can accept new things! it's possible and i proved that. i hope people make resolutions that are for the betterment of self and the world around them. i am honestly just in a tizzy right now over this win and how it's almost the end of the year.

almost there...

1. busy day today. had breakfast with my girls from home : ), took my friend out for his 21st birthday, went to the mall and did some errands, then came home to a yummy dinner!
2. started reading love in the ruins by walker percy and i have some high expectations for it. i might end up putting that book on hold once i get (hopefully) the girl with the dragon tattoo. but i could save that series for summer when i have more time...we'll see.
3. only three more days after midnight tonight and then i wake up on the fourth day and get ready for the longest day ever! haha, not really, but sunday is the big day. can't wait!

i am not a patient person. but this has been the biggest test of my patience and my stubbornness that i have been put through so far in my life. it has been a yo-yo of an experience and i am so thankful that it is almost over. but i think it has made me a better and a stronger person. and that can be said about my whole year of 2010. only two more posts after this one and i am still weirded out that this year is over! my blogging is coming to an end. i have to think of a good resolution for 2011. and one that i will be able to keep and one that is more centered on inner growth as opposed to outer appearance. i strive to be healthy every day, so that should not change when the new year starts. i'll think about it.

too many titles

1. tonight is a tired night for me. but i had a pretty good day. went to the gym at least so that was definitely a plus. 
2. made gnocchi alla romana tonight and it was very good! i forgot how good whole milk, semolina flour, salt, butter, and parmigiano reggiano cheese is when all baked together. 
3. i am thankful for the busy days ahead and praying for saturday to go by like a flash of lightening! but then i want to slow down time and make break last longer!

so there are two english classes i really want to take, but i only need one to fill my minor. the other can certainly count as an elective, but i also don't want to have a strenuous senior year (since i will have my thesis and applications to be worrying about). the first is the english class on jane austen. sounds like my dream class come true! i have two semesters left after this spring and i sure hope they end up offering it. the next i found the other day and it's war in shakespeare's plays. the professor is legendary and it sounds like a good mix between history and english. i wish i could take the second one this semester, but it conflicts with political psychology, which fills a requirement and sounds cool to boot. not that any of you cared about my conflicting english classes! i just think it's fun to write about random stuff sometimes. clearly... but anyway, i am honestly getting kind of freaked out about 2010 ending. this happens to me every year but this year in particular is very hard. it's been one of the best years ever and i hate to see it ending! this blog, too, now is a special thing to me. it'll be so strange  not to log on every night and blog about whatever i want. i will definitely miss it sometimes. maybe i'll do a random post every now and then just for old times' sake. again, i must say thank you to all my loyal readers. i say "all" like there are a lot of you, haha. but those of you who have read, it means a lot. ALOT.

my liminal space

1. being at home is the best! i love all the snow and i love my family and i am so grateful to be safe and happy and on break. it's been a great one so far and will only get better. 
2. tomorrow is the first adventure since the snowstorm. off to the gym (much needed) and to take my mom around on some errands since her car is out o' commission.
3. lazed around the house today and watched rom coms and started thank-you notes. do you see why i love winter break? haha. 

the closer i get to no more blogging the more confused i feel. really, this has been such an experience for me and it's been a big part of my growth process this year. i just randomly decided to do this thing and a few people have been reading ever since. that has meant a lot to me; the people who have read this, on and off, but especially those who have been faithful readers. before i start waxing too nostalgic, i suppose i should remember that this is not my last blog post, just one of the last. until i start my travel blog, that is. i am honestly quite sad to see 2010 go...it's been a really great year for me, but also a really tough one. but those are not mutually exclusive for me. the hard parts have made the other parts even better and more worth it. it's fun being 20. not a teenager but not 21. not a kid but not an adult. though, at times, i find myself wishing i was a kid again and freaking out that i never will be a kid again. it's a really scary thought if i think about it too much. but it's frustrating sometimes not to be an adult and living a post-school life in the real world. i have always been mature (most of the time) and sometimes it's hard being constrained by a number to a certain standard of behavior. alas, that is why i am comfortable with being 20.

make your own damn dinner!

1. only 4 more posts after tonight...isn't that strange? it certainly is for me. 
2. snowed in! we have about a foot and it seems to still be snowing. i hope that we can make it out by tuesday and start taking care of things. but it sure is beautiful. 
3. watched iron man 2 with my parents tonight and liked it a lot. the first was better but i liked this one because of how it ends. 

i started looking at my cookbooks and regular books i got for christmas and am very excited to go through all of them. my book about the italian language is fun so far and i think it will only get better. i got one cookbook and lucked into a second one as a bonus present and i have found some good recipes in both so far! cooking is fun and can be relaxing once i am organized and in the zone. i learned from several excellent cooks and bakers (mostly family members from both sides) some important tips and tricks. i have more to learn and that is fine with me...just gives me an excuse to be in the kitchen (tasting along the way). therefore, my bucket list item (my final one, i suppose, though i may add in one on the last day) is to compile family recipes. i want to have my go-to recipes for holidays and other traditional dishes ready for when i move into my own place and am cooking on my own. i even have a monogrammed chef hat--silly, but necessary!

christmas love

1. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!! it's my absolute favorite day of the whole year!!! could not be happier. had a drama-filled day travel-wise but it was wonderful other than that. love my family and love my home and love my gifts and love my everything. 
2. this is a pretty cool video... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=reMq5fM874k
3. hope everyone else had an amazing christmas as well. it is truly my favorite time of the year for so many reasons.

did i mention i love christmas? also, might as well get started on my one-liner tradition. no better night to start than now! i had such a good day and i am so happy so it's time to go be thankful for all i have. merry christmas to all, and to all a goodnight!

a child is born

1. it's christmas eve!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!
2. got to talk to my boyfriend : ), had a delicious lunch and then went to my grandparents' for christmas part one and then to church! love the christmas eve service; it's always been my favorite!
3. watched a christmas carol, continuing with tradition, and it was wonderful as always. 

i hope everyone had a great christmas eve and has an even better christmas day! it's my FAVORITE day of the WHOLE year. can't wait! merry christmas to all, and to all a good night! and...god bless us all, everyone. keep it in your heart why we are celebrating this beautiful time of year. remember those less fortunate than you and keep all in your prayers and thoughts. do all you can to help and to spread good cheer. focus on the important things and keep a smile on all day. love and merry christmas eve all around!

swan queen & christmas eve

1. such a long day today! i was in town for over 12 hours. had my car worked on, went to lunch, saw my sister, ate with the family, went to see black swan!
2. seeing my friend for lunch was so great! he has been in spain all semester and i missed him oh so much. we got to talk and catch up and have fun and it was really nice. boyfriend is up next.
3. can't wait for christmas eve tomorrow! my favorite holiday is about to be upon us!!! love love love.

black swan was such a creepy movie. it (apparently...didn't know this before i saw it...) is the story of a ballerina's struggle with herself and with reality. she is playing the part of the black swan and the white swan in an interpretation of swan lake and is too goody goody to be able to play the black swan believably but is perfect for the white swan role. she goes crazy trying to be perfect but at the same time not perfect. good movie but has some debatable elements. more importantly, tomorrow is christmas eve. YAY! but really, it was a good movie and has a beautiful score and was wonderfully filmed. i definitely recommend it. and apparently true grit is a great movie as well, so i'll go ahead and recommend that for anyone not interested in a ballet movie.

even the penguins

1. shew! been awhile since i've blogged i feel like, but that's just because i posted early yesterday. 
2. last night was fun! it was nice being in the big cabin and going ice skating today and being with old friends. we are all different now, but still get along well.
3. i have such a busy day tomorrow! but i am excited. it is also a long day, so i need to get to bed soon.

just some thoughts...hypocrisy. tolerance. logic. those are my three words that i think are important to remember. i am over the hypocrisy. it is infuriating and petty. logic is so important. not using logic is a surefire way to make me angry and it's also completely nonsensical (clearly...) so i don't understand why some people can't see logic. but that brings me, very appropriately, to tolerance. this is something we ALL need to practice and that means me too. i have to be understanding and tolerant and open to possibility. so that's that.

big day!

1. i am not bringing my computer tonight, and even if i did i am not sure i would have internet. so i am blogging now! earliest blog post ever? maybe...i'll have to go back and check in 10 days. 
2. got my haircut today, thank the lord. it still looks a little post-haircut unsettled but i think i'll like it once i give it a few days. didn't have time to get my car washed/detailed since i was meeting yayas for lunch. 
3. leaving soon for an overnight with my friends for a 21st birthday party! whoo hoo! 

i am trying to take this all one day at a time. the time leading up to christmas always seems to pass so slowly! but i know that i will look back in a few weeks and it will all seem like the blink of an eye. hope everyone is enjoying their break so far and that people get to spend time with those they love over the holidays! i have to finish up packing before i leave so this is it for now!

mars!

1. lunar eclipse tonight! should be pretty cool if the cloud cover isn't too much. it'll be freezing though. oh well...hopefully it's a nice christmas-y red.
2. had a pretty busy day today but not busy enough! i want the time to fly. hopefully starting tomorrow, the countdown to christmas will go by super quickly! and then the countdown continues. 
3. love actually quotes: "we're here!" "i hate uncle jamie!" "let's go get the shit kicked out of us by love!" those are my top favorites.

i wish i could just stop this right now. i don't really have stuff to say that i haven't said already in the past 350 some odd days (i don't do math). i'm bored of this by now and i'm sure the few people who read it are bored too. but i will keep going and maybe you will keep reading and we can all be bored together. it just seems like i have said everything i can say. and the holiday season is all full of happy and shiny things anyway, which i have certainly blogged enough about. basically all that is left is for me to reflect on the year this has been and re-read all my posts. there only 11 short days until i blog my last post (for this blog, anyway) but it seems such so much longer than that. what am i possibly going to say for eleven more posts? i don't have funny or witty things to blog about anymore. all my deep and/or sad posts seem to have been written already too. perhaps after tonight's lunar eclipse i will have some spark of inspiration to write about the wonders of the universe and the mysteries of light and shadow. but thinking about it, i feel as if i have written that post before. it is all so much closer than i think and i know i will wake up and 2010 will be over. i am actually feeling bittersweet about it. it's been such a great year...how can 2011 top it? then again, to think that 2010 is the best year and all are downhill from here is a bit unrealistic and also a bit too pessimistic (because...what if it is true?). but i am banking on 2011 at least being really fun...but i have a bit of an ominous feeling about that year. perhaps it is because i am wary of...things right now. i am sure 2011 will start to look up right as 2010 is leaving me (you cruel lover). but i am waking up in just a few hours to witness this miracle of nature, cloud permitting, and must get to bed so i can get a third of my sleep now and two-thirds after.

just want to sleep

1. such a long day. and tiring. church was early this morning and then training was frustrating. then the funeral at two. that was really hard. then the family christmas party which was really fun. 
2. i'm just ready for bed. i figure the earlier i go to bed, the quicker the days will go by. i feel guilty for wanting them to go by but i'm just so ready for it to be over. 
3. i can't wait for christmas. unless i do interesting things on the days leading up to christmas, this will probably be one of these three things i list up until then. christmas eve, christmas day, new year's eve, new year's day, january second. 

i think tonight it's important to talk about support. i am so grateful for the support system i have. it's been a tough but great year and i'm thankful to be getting through it unscathed (knock on wood...refer back to superstitious post if necessary). i hope these final few weeks end on a high note and we all enter the new year safe and happy and ready for a new beginning. so tonight my bucket list item is random but a good one (for me). make sure that i make some sort of new year's resolution EVERY year. and stick to it.

no time like the PRESENT

1. pretty good day today. woke up without an alarm, wrapped christmas presents (!), went to the gym, and chilled at da house. 
2. watched this movie the spanish prisoner tonight and it was pretty confusing! but good. and i could totally work for the fbi based on my deduction skills. 
3. grades are in (almost...they're reported at least...) A, A, A, A-, A-. YAY for a good semester! it makes me feel all accomplished and stuff.

i am not looking forward to tomorrow. it is going to be a very hard day. funeral at 2. but i have a family christmas party that night, so i hope that will cheer me up. it'll be nice to see most everyone and to be around good food and even better company. also, the eggnog is always delicious. i'm sure it'll be back to the gym on monday for me! but that's okay-my holiday season will be eat ALOT and exercise some. hope everyone is enjoying their weekend so far!

break mode

1. YAY! I AM HOME! and could not be happier to be here. i woke up and packed all my stuff and said goodbye to the girls and drove back! had a good night with my mom and now i am going to bed early and getting ready to be in break mode for a few weeks.
2. i am very happy about my grades so far...an A- in italian, an A in film and culture, an A in my genocide class, and an A in my southern lit class. WAHOO! i needed grades like that after last semester. 
3. hope everyone has safe travels this weekend and i can't wait for christmas! one weeeeek. 

is it obvious that i am happy? haha. i'm in a very good mood and i hope it stays this way for most of break. the holidays are always stressful to some extent but i have a game plan to deal with stressful situations that arise. looking forward to this weekend and this upcoming week. so much to do and so excited to do it! but also...absolutely nothing i have to do and that feels great! i am so blessed to have the life i do and the family i do and the friends i do. praise be! the holiday season makes me so happy.

cool yule

1. had a pretty stressful day. final at 4 and it was icy and sleeting outside all day so walking around was even more hazardous than usual. before the final i was writing for an email exam and also studying. finished my email exam finally...took forever. 
2. procrastination is no more! i am officially done with my fall semester and it feels great! now i just wish christmas would hurry up and get here and then the new year! it's crazy that it's almost over...i can't wait for break!
3. a week until christmas eve! and then it's christmas day! my favorite time of the year. 

this chopped episode is great! it's holiday themed and it is getting me in the holiday spirit even more. it was weird saying goodbye to everyone for a few weeks but i know that we all have great things to look forward to next semester. i am about to go to sleep and wake up at whatever time and then pack up and drive home. YAY!

poor nana

1. what even happened today? i went to lunch with my friend and it was really good to catch up and eat good food. then i studied and wrote some for my email final. can't wait to be done after my 4 pm exam tomorrow!
2. i have to pack and do laundry and all that boring stuff before i can leave though. so that'll get done tomorrow and tomorrow night, then friday morning some too. 
3. 18 days!

not much to talk about tonight! because i am being boring and a lame blogger during exam week. and at the end of the year. it's almost over! i have had such a great year...but i'll get to that post later. today has been pretty crazy. i feel like only my friend group would manage to have a fun and crazy and drama-filled exam week.

too much

1. had a pretty relaxing day. woke up and talked to people, then took a walk in the freezing cold weather. it was good though. i am glad i went. 
2. having a pretty interesting night so far...it's crazy! once again, reading day eve. 
3. have lots to do tomorrow and i am ready for it. had a good meeting today too...but am now trying to stay inside because it's so cold. 

sometimes i get bogged down with everything that is happening but i have to just step outside and get a grip. today's walk helped that. i am considering going on another one tomorrow. if i get enough of my email exam finished and start on my cheat sheet for the exam on thursday then i definitely will. and i need to go get a new battery for my car! before it dies...

ready for thursday

1. it's been another long day. i woke up early and went on campus to write more of paper before my italian final at 12. it was pretty hard but i got out and then finished my paper with not long to spare. 
2. came back to the apartment in freezing weather and sat and vegged all night. i watched tv and talked to my boyfriend and loved it. 
3. still been thinking a lot today. it all weighs heavily on the mind. 

tonight is my night to chill out and go to bed. i need a long and good night's sleep after the past few days. it's definitely been hard and sad and stressful. lots to think about but i have to keep pushing through until christmas break. hopefully things will start to look up by then.

only the good die young

1. this day has been pretty terrible. it started out okay but then i got some really bad news. so it's been downhill from there. 
2. this is my busiest day of finals week, too. i have a paper due at 4:30 tomorrow and a final at noon. so trying to do work has been awful/impossible today.
3. i hope everyone stays safe and warm during the snow storms. 

i just don't have any words tonight. other than i hope everyone stays safe and happy during this holiday season. such a tragedy and just so unexpected. hope we can all learn from this and be smart about our actions. hopefully he'll protect other kids from making the same mistakes. my mantra from earlier in the year was "fly" and i think that is fitting tonight. bucket list item: always do my best to watch out for my friends and surround myself with those who will do the same for me.