ha!

1. i'm so tired tonight. college life is exhausting! 
2. i did some more unpacking/arranging today and am slowly getting rid of boxes. it's a long process!
3. still have to buy books...maybe i should do that tomorrow...but it makes me feel better that no one else has bought books yet either. 

i'm excited to start classes. i wish classes would just be four days a week and weekends were three days. that would be ideal. i've also decided to stop apologizing for bad blogging because it's my blog and my resolution and it's a big enough deal that i'm even doing this every day. so there!

thanks again

1. loooong day. looooong night. stressful. but i'm making progress on the apartment. next up: finish unpacking and buy school books. whoopee!
2. made a big trip to target today to buy apartment stuff and started to set stuff up but i needed help. thank you, boyfriend!
3. drama fo yo mama! 

not much to say again tonight. didn't i make the promise that i would be a poor blogger in these next few days? yes, i did. now i don't feel as bad, shew! thanks again to my move-in helpers--couldn't have done it without you all! xoxo.

move in day!

1. I LOVE MY SCHOOL.
2. shoutout to my mom and aunt for all their wonderful help! also, a shoutout to my boyfriend and friend for helping move all the boxes and furniture!
3. went to my friends' apartment and hung out with everyone! fun times. 

sometimes i wish that college with no classes could last for two weeks or so before we're made to go to classes. don't get me wrong, i love classes and i'm excited for this semester, but the time before classes start is so much fun! lots of bonding, lots of friend time, lots of partying. gooood times. 

hanging party!

1. got all my boxes organized and had two great helpers in the car packing party today! got all three cars packed with college STUFF.
2. getting to bed pretty early so i can be rested for tomorrow's big move...i'm very excited!
3. had a delicious but filling dinner. another reason i am so tired, i think. 

i'm nervous about the move tomorrow. i keep thinking that someone will get in a wreck and besides the obvious of why that is horrible, it'd be even worse tomorrow! these cars are jammed full of furniture and decorations and clothes. i'm also nervous about being settled in a new place and starting a new year. i wish some things about it were different, but i have no control over that now. sometimes (most of the time) life doesn't work out how you plan or even how you want. it's about adjustment and flexibility (my two strong suits...not). but i think being in an apartment finally will be really nice and i have a few days to chill and relax and party before classes start. but i'm also nervous about the classes! i am really looking forward to them and i hope that i'm not let down. perhaps i should lower my standards, but i refuse. so, nervousness aside, i'm hopefully for a painless and simple and easy move. maybe i should lower my standards on that front...

if the shoe fits...

1. had a good day. woke up and did some cleaning on my apartment furniture and helped make pear butter from home grown pears (um, yum!). 
2. went into town to see the boy and went shopping for lamps! and a trashcan! whoopee! 
3. ate mexican with my friend and came home to watch the first sex and the city movie (birthday present...yes!).

just realized something from the sex and the city movie...my third time watching it. when they are first looking at the gorgeous penthouse on 5th, he says something about "man friend" making him sound like a dog...carrie replies with "if the shoe fits." at the end of the movie, mr. big proposes by asking carrie to marry him in her closet and then slips a brand new, manolo blahnik on her foot (how very fairytale). i would say that is was just a coincidence if it weren't for two reasons: 1) this is hollywood. come on., 2) she reads lily "cinderella" and attempts to teach her a lesson about love. so for this reason, i think it was on purpose. but it is a nice way to tie up the story and bring everything full circle. i like carrie bradshaw for two reasons: 1) her wardrobe, 2) she wears pearls to bed (although they are fake). but she screws up the wedding and she makes big freak out and then is les miserables for six months. it makes for a good movie and yes, of course, i will watch it over and over (and the second one when it comes out on dvd), but still. cut the crap, carrie. it was partially your fault. she made it all about her...never a good idea when talking about a couple! but i understand her eagerness to finally tie the knot with big--talk about a procrastinator. but they end up happy in the end--who would have guessed it! the movie just made me think about my own life and my own relationships.

rockin' to the beat

1. i don't even know what day of the week it is! i get so behind during the summer months. but i guess i better get my mind straight since i'm moving back to college on thursday...eek! lots of organizing to do before then. 
2. got my arm punched out by the dermatologist today. she took off a mole she was concerned about and sent it to the lab. now i understand why she called it "punched"--that's what my right tricep feels like now. 
3. had a yummy family dinner and then boyfriend time! we watched the proposal and it was pretty funny (i like sandra bullock and ryan reynolds), but i totally called the last half of the movie's plot. 

so here i am, another night. with nothing interesting to say. i'm sorry! perhaps i should talk about....oh wait. all my ideas have run out! for now...ideas are (dur) always appreciated. i should apologize in advance, also, for the negligence my blog will be subjected to during the next week or so. i'll be preoccupied and busy and most likely not itching to focus on good blogging. but hey, as long as i do it every day, that is good enough for me. trust me, i want to do better than that, and will, but also need to cut myself a mid-year break. but i'll still be blogging! no doubt.

getting thinner

1. woke up pretty early today and went to church, then went to the restaurant where i used to work for lunch (calzone, yum). 
2. came back home and relaxed before my packing frenzy! i just got in a mood to pack up for the move on thursday, so i attacked! it was very successful. 
3. had a small dinner, watched the finale of food network star, got some bad news. 

i just took a benadryl because my allergies started to act up tonight! i'm not sure why but it's a pain when they do. i wish my post title referred to my waistline, but alas, it does not. it refers to my...self. like, my availability and my time. i'm starting to feel like i'm worn thin and i'm getting stressed about it. i have people i want to spend time with and people i want to visit with before i leave but my days are slipping away so quickly. i have family, friends, my boyfriend. i want to be at my home but i have appointments and things to do and tasks to accomplish. it's becoming overwhelming. i just wish i could freeze time for a bit and move it forward only when i'm ready. i'm awful at goodbyes and i'm about to make some to my family, my friends, my boyfriend, my home, my cat, etc. i'm not ready yet.

bucket list item: turn in some privilege cards and exchange them for service cards.

3 x 4

1. woke up this morning in a comfortable bed (not on the floor like yesterday morning) and had pancakes courtesy of my sister for breakfast. 
2. hung out, went to see eat, pray, love and got ready for to picnic/band party tonight. 
3. my uncle's band played and i got to hang out with the family. it was nice out and really fun!

the movie interpretation of eat, pray, love was pretty good. some parts i could have done without out, but they were needed for background if you'd never read the book. but come to think of it, most people in the theater would have seen the book anyway. julia roberts was great, of course, and so was richard jenkins. the man who played the medicine man ketut was so cute! i liked hearing all the advice again that he gave liz again, though. it's kind of crazy that her life was written up into an international bestseller and is now a hit movie. that must be the weirdest feeling! one of the themes of the book is balance. she spends equal time in each of the three places and learns important lessons about balance in life in each place. italy is all about savoring life and "dolce far niete"--the sweetness of nothing. india is about determination and focus and forgiveness. bali is about love and completeness and balance and fear. it all wraps up into a wonderful, balanced life for liz gilbert. the trick is taking those principles and applying them to your own life. the book has gained a sort of cult following, you know, people doing the same thing she did with one year of life. and however tempting, it's not always practical or necessary for everyone. i believe there are many ways to develop into who one wants to be while simply living one's normal life. some changes may be necessary, but embracing change is crucial to sustaining life. i know, i know. who am i?! i hate change. but maybe i just need to learn to roll with it?

friday the 13th...again

1. i'm so very tired right now. had a late night and a busy day.
2. ziplining was so much fun! i was scared at first but it got easier after the first few zips. i had great friends for my "zipping" guides. 
3. spent my afternoon and evening with my sister! had some chill time and then dinner and trivia night at the local bar. we did okay...

every now and then i view this blog as just a ritual. it becomes something that i hate to check off my list every day (night). at this point, all i can think is "the faster you finish blogging, the sooner you can get to sleep." but it's so hard to stay focused on blogging when all i can think about is falling asleep and staying that way for a long time. so on that note, i'm finished for now.

animal house? yes.

1. finished up the yaya sleepover with breakfast and relaxation. 
2. ran some errands in town and got some more apartment stuff!
3. headed out to spend the night with my friends and had a toga party and plan to zipline in the morning!

i've never been ziplining before but i'm pretty excited! i've heard it's fun but it also looks kind of scary. i'm not afraid of heights or anything but i will be attempting for my first time on friday the 13th! eeek! i'm sure (i'm hoping) that all will go well! 

yaya4eva

1. had breakfast with friends and then another appointment. 
2. headed to my aunt's to meet my sister, mom, and grandmother for a sleepover! 
3. went out to a lovely lunch, hung out, made pizzas, watched top chef, ate ice cream, all this fun and delicious stuff! 

i am so much happier around my family. the yayas are just always having fun and having good conversations and having an overall great time! i have fun but sometimes i miss being around my immediate family. my dad is still working so i don't see him as much. my mom is retired though so i get to see her. but soon, both will be retired and having a grand ole' time and i'll be able to hang out with both parents and my whole family too.

"are we breaking up? are you breaking up? is there trouble on the line?"

1. slept pretty late considering that my room gets SO light in the mornings. had a funny dream about jersey shore and a wedding, weird, but funny. 
2. had a lunch with my friend and said goodbye until november! dentist appointment went surprisingly painless and then a haircut. 
3. home for a yummy grilled fish dinner. started a new book and watched chopped! love food network in hi def. 

breakin' up is one of my favorite songs by rilo kiley. i love that it's upbeat and energizing and witty. and it's about breaking up with a guy! typically a depressing topic among music artists, but this song is light and funny, though still somewhat dark. perhaps i should say now that i am not breaking up with anyone or anything like that, i just have wanted to talk about this subject for awhile and tonight struck me as appropriate. breakups are often really difficult. sometimes, they are easier than others because it just falls into your lap that it's the right time for something to end. in my experience personally and from hearing loads of break up stories in my 20 years on this earth, break ups are rarely truly mutual. that is typically a cop out for one person to get what they want while manipulating the other person to think that they want to break up too. not very nice, but common. another common mistake in the break up world is not being honest with yourself or the other person. if you aren't clear with yourself about what you want and need, there is no way you are going to be able to adequately communicate it to another person. also, lying to yourself will ultimately just be a major pain in the ass (for you and everyone involved). another piece of advice, don't go yapping to everyone and their brother about the break up. keep it how the relationship was (or should have been)...i like to think of it as similar to a pane of foggy glass. people can still discern what is happening on the other side, but to truly know what is going on in depth, you have to be on the other side of the glass. keep others on the foggy side of your love life. unless, of course, there is some danger or chance of harm or anything serious like that present in the relationship. i also suggest taking time to be single. yeah yeah, sex and the city girls complain all the time about how being single is tiring and stressful and it's impossible to find a good man. but i think people forget to figure out who they are in between relationships and discern what they learned/how they changed/etc. post-relationship. single time is very, very important--it's like recovery after a surgery. recovery is essential in order to be 100% out in the real world after any sort of surgery. my final piece of advice is to not be afraid. don't be afraid of loneliness or emotional pain. don't be afraid of hurting someone else in your quest for happiness (within reason, of course). don't be afraid of feeling relieved or better about yourself post-breakup. don't be afraid to trust again or to like someone again (those ones are big). and don't be afraid of being yourself and being honest with and true to yourself. someone will eventually come around and appreciate you enough to spend his/her life with you (and if someone doesn't come around...would it be all that disastrous?).

shoulda coulda woulda

1. it's that time of the day again. 
2. woke up kinda early and hung out around the house finishing a book and watching television. 
3. went out to dinner and to see the other guys with my boyfriend. the movie was pretty funny (slow in some parts) and dinner was yummy but...

i should have gotten the fettuccine.

222

1. fell asleep last night to the sound of tree frogs and cicadas--i love my home! 
2. went to church today and saw everyone. and didn't stop at the grocery on the way home, wahoo!
3. had my belated birthday dinner with family and boyfriends! i had a wonderful meal, i got great presents, and i had a delicious ice cream cake.

i'm very tired and want to go to bed but i need to say thank you to everyone for my presents and such a wonderful birthday! thank you notes get written tomorrow and i hopefully make plans to see people from home during the short time that i'm here. i'm so happy to be home but also very excited to get back to school! i know, i know, another slack post. oh well...i've had a lot of food today and i'm still tired from yesterday. plus, these frogs and bugs put me to sleep quickly.

bucket list item: take a break next new year's and make a simpler resolution! 

bye!

1. drove home today!!! it was a hard drive but i had company that was much appreciated. 
2. yummy dinner outside and family time! it doesn't get much better than this...
3. very tired and worn out...can't wait to get to bed. 

after a long drive, my summer has come to a close and i'm back home. for now. school starts soon and i move into my apartment and do all that fun stuff. should be fun/interesting/hard/etc. i'm ready, though. and i'll have good help. now, it's bedtime!

see ya!

1. packed up all my stuff today...preparing to move out tomorrow. 
2. i can cross off one item on my bucket list so far...live alone. such an experience! 
3. can't wait to get back to my home and then back to school. it's been a long time coming. 

once again, my life is about to change. i'm excited and also nervous. tonight, i just want to remind myself that everything will be okay. i believe in myself to accept all challenges, and i believe that i know when to seek help from others. i can do this!

C is for cookie

1. webmail is down! how frustrating. i hate not being able to check my email. 
2. had a nice, relaxing day with my boyfriend. went poolside, watched narnia, went out to visit friends, ate dinner, watched JERSEY SHORE!!! 
3. i've been twenty for a whole week not. t-minus 51 weeks until 21!!!

okay, okay, so guilty as charged. no interesting blog tonight. i'm sorry! i promise that they'll be more interesting soon. i need to start blogging earlier. pretty sure i've already said that before too. oh well...going to see a movie tomorrow hopefully and just hanging out. i got a fortune cookie tonight that said "you will enjoy doing something different this coming weekend." i feel like fortune cookies and horoscopes are all just cop outs. they are so generic that they HAVE to be true for most anyone. but i really am doing something very different this weekend, so that's exciting!

school's out for summer

1. boyfriend came today!!! picked him up from the airport and it's been great just hanging out all day. 
2. got lovely birthday presents and went out to a delicious birthday dinner! thanks to you know who...
3. massive thunderstorms today. while i was running participants in the psych building the fire alarm went off and announced to stay away from windows and doors due to hail, winds of 60 mph+, and rain. scary!

not much to blog about tonight. another boring post! just excited to have company and excited to be moving back home soon. this summer has been great but i'm ready for school to start. i should be in some pretty cool classes. speaking of which, i need to buy books soon...

fiiiierce

1. early (!) gym workout, work most of the day. final meeting with my supervising professor. everything ended on a great note. 
2. cleaned my suite area for my company tomorrow! vacuumed, did dishes, organized recycling, taking out the trash in the morning, picked up the floor. i like cleaning sometimes and really go to town.
3. watched some shark week episodes tonight and now chopped is on and i'm blogging during commercial breaks. early to bed tonight since i'm waking up and driving to the airport tomorrow to pick up said company. 

i like being a competitor. i've mentioned before my love of the cooking competition show, chopped, and i've mentioned that i want to go to grad school in clinical psychology--the most competitive graduate program in the country. i grew up watching the original iron chef and iron chef america on my grandmother's tv. i like any show or book that involves competition. it makes for a great, fast-paced plot line and makes life exciting! to have ambition, drive, a competitive edge, you have to care. i care A LOT. especially about my academics. i've always been competitive against myself, but never saw the need to be really concerned about other people's performances. it was more about making myself better (or the best). so when the application process for grad school rolls around, i hope to go above and beyond what i ever thought i was capable of. honestly, i never saw myself on this track, mainly because i never knew it was really an option. but i've always been interested in human behavior and emotions and interactions and psychopathology. what i can't ever comprehend is how everyone else isn't as interested in this stuff as i am! but i think that is a true sign of passion and of devotion. so i'm competitive and i really feel like i can do this. all of this. so i need to remember that next time i turn in some writing that gets critiqued...

roberto!

1. gym, pool, work. 
2. dinner with the lab! it was delicious and really nice and not as awkward as i expected. 
3. bachelorette season finale!!! she chose the guy i wanted her to (and the guy i would have chosen)!

that show is so ridiculous! but in a good way. i like having some of my downtime devoted to trashy television and the bacehlorette definitely suffices. i'm tired already and have to wake up at 7:30 for an 8 am training session at the gym! talk about early morning work out. it will hopefully keep my metabolism up all day and it'll be nice to get to the gym pretty soon after my decadent dinner. i'll be a better blogger tomorrow night, scout's honor!