would i really do this?

1. i watched the USA lose to ghana in a heartbreaking loss. we basically watched the soccer game instead of playing the soccer game. donovan, i still love you. and dempsey, i love you too. team USA forever!
2. joined a gym today for the remaining six weeks or so of my stay. it was a nice feeling--i plan on going tomorrow and working out and sweating. oddly, i can't wait. 
3. a girl who lives in the apartment i'm subleasing from moved back in today for the summer. her plans fell through, so here she is for the summer. it's weird; i finally adjusted to the change of living alone and have to adjust all over again to living with a girl i met...an hour ago. oh, and she told me i live on the "buggy" side of the apartment--greeeeaat. 

i can't believe i actually made a random decision to blog for an entire year and am actually doing it. it's a weird feeling, being almost six months into 2010. i mean, this year has been a blessing, but it's also been somewhat of a whirlwind. so much has happened to me! i love my life right now and am very happy with it, but i know that come august, that life will be very different. my bucket list item for tomorrow is somewhat shocking...well, for me it's shocking. i've made a commitment to doing every last thing that i put down on my bucket list, at some point in my life. so when i list something, it's serious. you already know how i feel about commitments--look at what i'm doing now--blogging for 365 days, for crying out loud. so there is really no question that i must follow through on my bucket list, or else i'm a big faker! not okay. so you'll see tomorrow what all the suspense is about...let's hope it doesn't disappoint!

"these are my confessions"

1. went into the lab for a bit today and then worked in the clinic some too. left around 4 to start my weekend off right!
2. the tcby right next to my apartment closed--i'm taking that as a sign from above that i need to stop eating delicious frozen yogurt parfaits to cool myself off from the 100 degree heat. 
3. just realized that i have a salon appointment on saturday right in the middle of the USA vs. Ghana soccer game--WTF--and if i cancel, i have to pay $50--again, WTF?! so i'm going to call in the morning and try my damndest to get it pushed up or back. i need to see this game. 

okay, so i feel like it's finally time for me to be up front about something--my major/minors in college. i have spent so much time tiptoeing around this issue and hinting at it and i feel like no one except people i know really read this blog anyway, so i might as well just talk about it. i'm a psychology major and history and English double minor. now it's probably not that big of a deal to my few readers for me to say this, since they already know my school life, but it's nice to finally say it. so psychology basically is my life. i love the field and i love the labs in work in at college and for this summer. i study peer relations, health-risk behaviors, and suicide/NSSI (non-suicidal self-injury) in one lab, and bi-polar disorder with a focus on assessment in my other lab. i love both labs but prefer the former lab; it was the first i entered and it's where my passion really lies (for now). this summer, i am working in a psych lab that studies suicide and NSSI, as well as eating behaviors and it has a pretty neuro-focused feel to the lab, which isn't my thing per se, but is important to the field. basically, i love psychology and am very content with it being my life. my history minor, i'm also crazy about. i declared a history major when i was a first semester freshman after a great history course on modern european history. i declared that as my concentration, and was well on my way to a major. but this past semester i decided to drop down to a minor because i don't want to take a seminar-based course that requires a lot of time and effort and work. i want to focus on my thesis for psych, as well as have time for my English minor and other cool classes. but who knows, maybe i'll get bored and ambitious and change my mind later. the English minor i declared last fall semester and did it kind of on a whim, similar to my history minor. i have an English teaching sister and a mother who taught English, as well as an aunt. maybe it's in my blood? all the same, it's a good minor to have, i think; it shows people who read my resume that i can write well enough to have a minor and that i am well-rounded. plus, i really want to take this jane austen class my senior year. best class ever! so since i'm an English minor, some may wonder why i don't use entirely correct grammar at all times (capitalization). i''m lazy and stubborn. it's a lot easier for me to type this way, in an informal setting, and people also have nit-picked me for not using capitalization, so i naturally went against that trend. it may grate on the nerves of some, but it's just who i am in this setting, as well as other informal settings (email, facebook, etc.). but i can and obviously do use perfect grammar in papers and assignments and anything remotely professional or formal. so that's my story of my school life.

t-minus five weeks

1. went back into the lab today for about 5 hours. had a good day--one part of what i'm doing is really interesting. 
2. weirdly enough, though, i'm ready for the weekend. i want time to myself to recharge and to get used to alone life again. i'm sure i'll be over that sentiment soon enough.
3. went bowling tonight with the lab group and bowled a 128! best score i've ever gotten. three strikes in a row! it was awesome. 

i don't feel much like blogging again. it's been a wonderful week but i'm sad to see it go. i'm definitely feeling the homesickness right about now. and i miss my family but i also just miss my home. and while it's not new for me being in a college setting, it's new being in that college setting and not knowing anyone. i came to college knowing several people, and also knew and loved my suitemates. but this is different. it's a new environment where i don't really know anyone and i'm in a new job setting. and while i love what i am doing and am pumped about getting a letter of recommendation for grad school, i also am not impervious to feeling lonely. and yes, i'm meeting people, but it's not like college. i love college! and this summer is just like a semi-extension of college but it's also practice for real life. my birthday is five weeks from today--how nerve-wracking! i'm excited but also really anxious. hopefully these five weeks will pass slowly...

remember to smile

1. watched the USA kick ass in the game against algeria today!!! can't believe we had another goal taken away from us but i'm so happy that donovan came through in the clutch and scored a win in our group and automatic advancement to the quarterfinals! so exciting.
2. didn't do much other than watch soccer and hang out with my boyfriend. it was a great day. 
3. went to carrabba's for dinner and now i think a movie is in order!

i've been thinking more and more about safety and things i can do to stay safe! basically, i think i have somewhat of a chance if i'm ever in a hand-to-hand combat situation, but i'm afraid of a gun or knife situation--that would be tough to get out of. and while i am afraid of this scenario that is pretty statistically low of a chance and the area where i am living now is really pretty safe, i would rather be more prepared than less prepared. knowing how to protect myself is important, especially as a young female who is alone in this area for the summer. anyway, it was a bit of a tangential post but i think it's important to talk about. again. oh, and remember to smile at people. smiles brighten days.

shawty

1. saw toy story 3 today and it was SO good. the first movie came out in 1995--it's the series of my childhood. the short movie in the beginning is really cute too. 
2. went out to a yummy italian dinner with the boyfriend and then ate marble slab ice cream! they were right next to each other...i couldn't resist. 
3. goofed around tonight and watched chopped on food network, of course. also got some work-related stuff figured out. 

this is one of those nights i don't have much to say, or much that i can really talk about on this blog. i feel a lot of things but this isn't the avenue to express those things. so this is another short post night, but those are pretty frequent occurrences on this blog. forgive me, and until tomorrow...

versus

1. drove home from the beach today. how sad. it was a great trip but i miss the beach and my family already. can't wait to see them for the 4th!
2. found the recycling center today and went on a grocery trip with my boyfriend. just hung around the house and made plans for tomorrow. so glad to have him here for a few more days!
3. no bugs were in my apartment when i got home--good sign. i had a few emails from my job but nothing super important. i am a volunteer, after all. 

an important talk tonight happened between my boyfriend and i. we talked about religion and spirituality. i've blogged about this before but it was so nice sitting with him after dinner and just talking. we sat at the table for several hours and had a wonderful conversation. it was very natural and good conversation. we click. and i miss the beach and miss my family, but like i said last night, i know i'm doing the right thing with my summer and i'm doing what's best for me.

goodbye again

1. last day at the beach. it was a good day, hot and not very windy, but still good. i love the beach so much and am sad to leave. 
2. i was walking with my boyfriend along the beach and we saw a huge school of rays! while it was really cool, it's something i've never seen at this beach before and i'm worried that it was because of the oil spill.
3. it was father's day! i love my dad very much and was glad that i could spend it with him.

i hate saying goodbye to my family. i love them all so much and i am very glad that i got to spend some time with them as a reprieve from my summer. while i'm very glad to be doing what i'm doing this summer, taking a leap and making a career move, it's still rather hard and i find myself wishing sometimes that i had just stayed home this summer, or stayed at college. it would have been a good summer, i feel sure, but very different. i can see in my mind what it would have been like and am happy with that image. but i'm also very happy with what i am actually doing this summer--i think i will be grateful for it later, too. but the morning is fast approaching and i will have to say goodbye again. goodbye to my family, for now. the goodbye to my boyfriend comes later this week. i hope they all make the drive back safely. another reason for me to be nervous...but my dad is a very good driver. but it's the other people on the road i'm worried about! happy father's day and happy sunday!

bucket list item: go to a world cup soccer game.