thunder

1. went to our spring football game today! it was pretty fun--we're looking good for the fall season.
2. ate a delicious dinner--three slices of legitimate italian pizza with spinach, feta, garlic, and cheese. mmm.
3. had a fun night, but the chilly weather returned! not okay with me. this upcoming week looks nice though.

i got caught in the rain the other night and loved just standing in the rain, feeling it. i hate rainstorms when i'm trying to walk to class, but they are so calming at night. when it used to rain when i was little, i would open my window next to my bed and listen to the rain and watch the lightening from the windowsill. i remember thinking how pretty the lightening looked, especially the bolts that spread across the whole sky. i've never been afraid of thunderstorms; they always just seem like expressions of intense emotion. so the other night, i just watched the rain fall and liked how it felt on my face. thunderstorms at night are a beautiful thing. and even during the day they can be okay...as long as i'm not trying to walk to class!

diamonds are forever

1. girls, this one is for y'all.
2. great day--no classes and a beautiful, slightly chilly day. 
3. i'm so tired right now, though, from last night. 

i'm stubborn and that's the end of it. i'll feel what to feel, do what i want to do, and act how i want to act. all those of conditions have constraints, but they still usually hold true. i have intense empathy and concern for other people, especially those close to me. i will feel what others feel. i've always been this way, and nothing about those two facets of my personality will change.

99 problems

1. classes today, weekend started at 4:45!
2. it rained--thank the lord! the pollen has finally disappeared. 
3. my night was so much fun! love to all my girls.

i got 99 problems, and they all...nothing! i'm happy right now, but exhausted. my only topic for tonight is that it's my 99th post--how exciting! and what a fortuitous number. i'm excited that i've made it this far and i'm excited to reach 100, and then finally, 365! what the year holds in store, i cannot say, but i'm more ready for it than ever.

bob caldwell

1. did some work today, but also relaxed some. it was a pretty good day overall. life=love right now.
2. that's not to say that my life isn't stressful! it just seems that i'm learning to take the good with the bad. i'm trying to stress less and have more fun. 
3. my decision of the day: have a really fun and still productive weekend! classes are coming down to the wire, so i need to stay focused on making dean's list (can't break the record!).

why is it that the weatherman is always wrong? has anyone else experienced this, or was it just the weatherman in my hometown? the art of telling the weather is so imprecise, so random...seems like a pretty easy job! i know that it's actually pretty hard and involves a lot of math and science, but still. can't they get it right every once in awhile?! i mean, i can just look outside and see what it's doing that minute...i need to know what it's going to be doing tomorrow (accurately, please)! so that's my rant about the weather. and i'm grumpy because it's supposed to be 83 and 30% chance of t-storms tomorrow--a.k.a. hot and humid. gross. i like the mean girls approach to weather "there's a 30% chance that it's already raining."

out of this world

1. classes today, back in the swing of things! but only for another month...then i become a junior. yikes!
2. saw a really great movie for my history class tonight, the lives of others. it won best foreign film in 2007 (rightly so) and was really well done. but sad!
3. today's weather was beautiful! i can even handle all the pollen since the sunshine and heat is a welcome change from the rainy misery of winter.

i want to go to outer space, but i hate flying. i feel like this is a problem. the two things i was always fascinated with as a child: thunderstorms and stars. the first i will save for another post, but the second i will talk about tonight. have you ever seen that movie, october sky? i watched it in almost every science class i ever took in middle and high school, and i always empathized with the kid. he just wanted to go into space. or make rockets. anyway. i want to just wish my way onto the moon and see how the earth looks from outer space. really think about it...wouldn't that be one of the coolest things on the planet (or off it...ha ha ha, get it?)?! to see the galaxy we live in from a whole different perspective...talk about getting a new lease on life. the stars are beautiful at my house and i can't see them that well at school. it's a sad sight to see a blank sky night after night when i was used to seeing diamonds in the sky (sans lucy). but i'm just hopeful that an easier way to travel into outer space will come along before my life ends. also, i hope they can make the flight a little easier. if i already don't like to fly in an airplane, imagine how a space shuttle will make me feel. eek! but perhaps i could overcome that (intense) fear of (horribly painful) death and fly to the outer realms of the galaxy. how beautiful would that be...

randomness

1. drove back to school today. it was bittersweet; i was sad to leave my beautiful home but happy to return to chapel hill.
2. finished up my paper today and did some other random homework. 
3. i'm excited for this week and this weekend! and it's only monday...

so much of life is random. i am starting to like how the itty bitty things in life can be just as earth-shaking as the big events. we talked in my roman art class about what we would put on our funery reliefs (basically, the pictures that go on the side of our sarcophagus). anyway, we all mentioned the big events like graduation, marriage, job, children, grandchildren, death, but none of us mentioned the small things in life. like what about the person you met on the street one day who possibly changed your life? or the part-time job you had that gave you a new career choice? or the meeting with a professor that changed your academic life? these things are all so random and seemingly insignificant, but they have profound impacts on our lives, just like the big events. it's important for us to remember this as we walk through our lives, day after day, year after year. what is happening now may seem hugely important, or not important at all, but will most definitely affect the future in some way. oh, and i'm slowly learning to fly...and loving it.

ascension

1. happy easter!!!
2. beautiful service, delicious brunch, relaxing day. what a wonderful weekend i've had. 
3. back to school tomorrow; i've even been semi-productive and written a paper while home. 

i am all written out. this paper has sucked out all my energy. but i am almost finished with it, and i need to get sleep for the long drive back to school tomorrow. i am at the point now where it's getting more difficult not to repeat myself in my blog topics. even so, i know that lately i have had some failings of blog posts, especially on the weekends. so i'm going to try to do better! the easter season is about celebration and redemption, so that's what i should focus on tonight. i'm celebrating my family and the love i have for them. and i am also celebrating the love that my church family has for me and all the support they gave me as i grew up those 18 years in the church. i was blessed to have the experiences that i did in my church. it gave me something to hold onto when i was scared or doubting. my faith came to be represented by those church memories. as a kid, it's hard to know what religion is all about or why people need it so much. well, that's not so for some kids i guess, but it was true for me. i just knew parts of the book of common prayer by heart and knew the words that the rector would say every sunday--i still know those things today. i used to want to be a preacher so that i could heal people. but i have found a way of healing that suits me more, though the appeal of being a preacher is still there. but that is not a possibility anymore. and i didn't want any of the other stuff, just to lead services and talk to people. so it looks like i found another way to fill that need. but i can't imagine my life without the church, and thus find it hard to leave it behind. and maybe i won't, but i also know that for now i need to live my life without a structured church setting and just let my faith wander and see where it takes me.

bucket list item: buy a lottery ticket.