5.12.2010

tough stuff

  1. went to the mall today and only bought one thing! tried on bathing suits and didn't find any i liked. that is probably best since i'm pretty sure i have 12 already...
  2. made dinner tonight--it was pretty basic but it's still fun help out my mom sometimes and act like an adult. 
  3. played a fun game tonight with a fun person. 
it hit me tonight that i am leaving very soon. like, in a week and a half soon. can i do this? am i strong enough to do this? i think so. i am tough (generally) and have a high pain tolerance (among others). i like adventure and i like to travel. let me clarify... i like adventures like getting lost in venice and catching subways in rome and driving a stick in barcelona and eating food i can't pronounce in paris.  i don't like adventures like getting lost in the dark streets of tallahassee alone on my way home from work, or going out to a bar or to dinner alone or having a really boring and pointless summer. that's what i am most afraid of, i think. that i will go down this summer and spend 2.5 months there and it won't be worth it--that it will be boring and monotonous and not a new and exciting experience for my career. that i will have wasted a summer i could have spent with family and with my boyfriend before he leaves me for a semester, and then i leave him for another semester. but i guess i won't know until i try! and then again, i am not tied into anything. if i am not happy, i can change my situation (within reason). but i'll be damned if i don't give it a helluva shot.

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