"are we breaking up? are you breaking up? is there trouble on the line?"

1. slept pretty late considering that my room gets SO light in the mornings. had a funny dream about jersey shore and a wedding, weird, but funny. 
2. had a lunch with my friend and said goodbye until november! dentist appointment went surprisingly painless and then a haircut. 
3. home for a yummy grilled fish dinner. started a new book and watched chopped! love food network in hi def. 

breakin' up is one of my favorite songs by rilo kiley. i love that it's upbeat and energizing and witty. and it's about breaking up with a guy! typically a depressing topic among music artists, but this song is light and funny, though still somewhat dark. perhaps i should say now that i am not breaking up with anyone or anything like that, i just have wanted to talk about this subject for awhile and tonight struck me as appropriate. breakups are often really difficult. sometimes, they are easier than others because it just falls into your lap that it's the right time for something to end. in my experience personally and from hearing loads of break up stories in my 20 years on this earth, break ups are rarely truly mutual. that is typically a cop out for one person to get what they want while manipulating the other person to think that they want to break up too. not very nice, but common. another common mistake in the break up world is not being honest with yourself or the other person. if you aren't clear with yourself about what you want and need, there is no way you are going to be able to adequately communicate it to another person. also, lying to yourself will ultimately just be a major pain in the ass (for you and everyone involved). another piece of advice, don't go yapping to everyone and their brother about the break up. keep it how the relationship was (or should have been)...i like to think of it as similar to a pane of foggy glass. people can still discern what is happening on the other side, but to truly know what is going on in depth, you have to be on the other side of the glass. keep others on the foggy side of your love life. unless, of course, there is some danger or chance of harm or anything serious like that present in the relationship. i also suggest taking time to be single. yeah yeah, sex and the city girls complain all the time about how being single is tiring and stressful and it's impossible to find a good man. but i think people forget to figure out who they are in between relationships and discern what they learned/how they changed/etc. post-relationship. single time is very, very important--it's like recovery after a surgery. recovery is essential in order to be 100% out in the real world after any sort of surgery. my final piece of advice is to not be afraid. don't be afraid of loneliness or emotional pain. don't be afraid of hurting someone else in your quest for happiness (within reason, of course). don't be afraid of feeling relieved or better about yourself post-breakup. don't be afraid to trust again or to like someone again (those ones are big). and don't be afraid of being yourself and being honest with and true to yourself. someone will eventually come around and appreciate you enough to spend his/her life with you (and if someone doesn't come around...would it be all that disastrous?).