safety

1. had three classes today; it felt amazing. it was a beautiful day here; i love gorgeous weather. i had a great night; spring break has started!
2. i woke up at 7:15 to do laundry this morning. i'm so dedicated (actually, i was just out of clothes, so i had no choice). that wasn't fun...
3. i talked to the grad student from the lab where i'll be working this summer. i'm SO excited! we got some more specifics figured out, and i'm going to start looking for housing when i'm home over break.

i am flying tomorrow. isn't it ironic that my mantra is "to fly," yet i'm pretty uncomfortable with flying in a plane. i just always feel so sure that something is going to go wrong and i will surely die. i know that the rates of car crash death are way more than plane crash death, but i can't help but think that if something does go wrong on that plane, my chances of survival are way smaller. and i don't mean for this post to be morbid, but i just think about it a lot before i fly. or travel long distances. but i never think about it when just driving around campus or around my hometown, even though that's when your chances of getting in a car wreck are highest. sometimes i can feel safe, though. i spend a fair amount of my time worried about dying young. but when i worry about this, i try to be rational and think statistically and remind myself that i most likely will live to an old age. but even as i'm typing these words, i am gripped with fear. a fear that i won't live out my potential. and what if i do get in a plane crash or a car wreck or something falls on me from the sky? then what? there is so much i haven't said and so much i haven't done. i'm just terrified. i mean, no one actually thinks that their plane is going to be the one to crash. but think about the people who are on those planes that do crash. i can't even imagine. but i need to remember my safety nets. i feel safe when i think about certain people or certain situations. so hopefully i can remember these people and situations and feel better when i'm lifting off tomorrow. let's fly.