the noblest profession

1. drove home today--it's very cold and wintry here, but i'm glad to be around my family. i'm staying with my sister tonight and heading to my house tomorrow. no classes monday--booyah!
2. on that note, however, i have a lot of work to do for this upcoming week and i'm busy for most of it too. oh well, i'll figure it out!
3. note the cheerful mood. despite all this madness going on, i'm just happy. i'm trying to balance everything and everyone and so far it's working itself out. this is a nice feeling. 

tonight, i have to talk about teaching. there are many honorable and helping professions available in this day and age. but i am making the argument that teaching always was and always will be the noblest profession. think about it--how else has everything in this world been transmitted except through the sharing of knowledge. knowledge is such a sacred thing. that may have been almost the nerdiest thing i've ever said (but hey, being nerdy is just what i do, right?) but it's so true. this civilization would not have progressed past day one without knowledge and those to pass on the flame. literally. it was said that perseus was punished by the gods for stealing fire because it was knowledge worthy of the gods. this knowledge of fire is symbolic to me that knowledge is like fire--meant to be passed among people and inspire a burning within an individual that lasts a lifetime. i have a personal reason to support education and teachers like i do, but i am grateful for the amazing teachers i have had over the years and i hope to make a difference in someone's life the way they all touched thousands of youth. so a teacher has 6 or 5 classes per year, each class with 25 students, and 30 years teaching. that's 4500 or 3750 students over the course of a career of teaching (i think, hopefully my math teacher taught me well). that's how many lives were shaped and changed in some way. i can't fully express my loyalty to teaching and firm belief that great teachers make a tremendous difference in this world.

blah blah blah

1. well i still hate all this rain but at least it made my hair curly. 
2. dropped off apartment applications and had yummy lunch and dinner with cool people.
3. going out tonight. let's go. 

 that's all i hear--blah blah blah. people come to me, talking and telling me stuff, and i just hear blah blah blah. it's all like mexican to me now (that was a dig at george bush, not a serious remark). but really, what do i think? what do i do? i don't even know. no one knows anything i'm pretty sure. side note: i just started to watch the bad romance video and had to turn it off--way too weird. i just want to be me. so that's what i'm going to do. let's fly.

YAY

1. got the news--going to florida this summer to work with the uber-premier researcher in my field!!!!!!!!!! can you tell i'm excited? i've been waiting for this news for months. i couldn't be MORE excited. YAY! "ms. phd" has officially made her entrance.
2. today started out not so great--has become awesome! it's the start of my four day weekend, half of which will be spent with my friends and half with my family.
3. it's high time i bought red pumps. i am rewarding myself...for being awesome!

i love my friends, i just want to start off with that. and i love my school, just wanted to add that. and i love four day weekends. booyah. tonight i just want to talk about my future. i'm excited! you don't know how long i've been waiting to have definite plans! and they still aren't even that definite, i just now know where i will be. this is a huge relief. and my mentor told me today that working in this lab could make me a shoe-in for grad school--omfg, kill me now! so exciting. so yeah, i'm just excited and happy and nervous and so ready for it to be summer! and while i have no idea what will happen between now and then or between this summer and next, all of a sudden i don't care! the change i have been grabbing at for months has finally come! there are a lot of exclamation points in this post, i know, but they are warranted. and i feel like i can take stuff on now, better than i was able to before. this feeling will probably only last until i have to start writing the two papers due next week--then school will feel impossible. but maybe perfection isn't what it's all about (shocker, right, haha). and my suitemate just told me (albeit in a different context) hey, if you know what you want, if you know what you want--go for it. all i have to say to that is hell yeah. bring it on.

the myth

1. busy day. contrary to what some may think, i do not have tea parties, eat truffles, and get fanned by sexy boys with palm fronds all day. nor do i sit on the beach in bora bora. i do homework and go to meetings and sometimes the gym. i don't just...do nothing, unfortunately.
2. had dinner with a friend (two dinners?) and ran for treasurer of an honor society but didn't get it (totally not for a legit reason either). so i ran for social chair and got that--of course. so now i get to spend money instead of keep track of it--yay!
3. it's one of those days--not much i want to talk about on this blog tonight. and nothing really interesting happened. i wore open-toed shoes when there was snow on the ground. typical, i know.

 i want to talk about greek mythology. i believe in the greek myths. is that weird? am i the only person who actually believes those stories in these modern times? because i know the greeks and romans believed the stories, but that's different. i just have always been fascinated with magic and mythology and truth and untruth (please, see previous posts). but ever since i was taught greek mythology (6th grade, favorite language arts teacher eva!) i have believed in it. they (the greeks and romans) just made it seem so real! the gods and goddesses roamed the mortal realm and slept with people, killed people, ran away with people, did all this cool stuff. it makes it seem so much more realistic if the god/goddess one worships acts like a mortal. because then it turns into human behavior in people who may have just been defied for lineage or personal valor. but what am i saying? i think that the gods and goddesses really were immortal and deities; they just interfered in mortal affairs because they could. the stories captivate me and seem to believable and realistic. and why would anyone not want to believe the "myths?" it's comforting to think that even gods and goddesses can mess up too. now this is turning into a religious discussion, but people questioned the actions of gods and goddesses--like seriously questioned them. they may have been punished for that questioning but did so all the same. i feel like it's so taboo nowadays to question the logic of one's religious deity. like, if the gods and goddesses made mistakes (which they did, obviously) then why can't it be an acceptable thought that modern (?) deities can make mistakes? i think questioning is healthy, but i also think the greek myths are just so cool and interesting and great stories--so i believe them. and i believe in the people involved in the myths.

the new cruelest month

1. you know, went to class (why, again? the system makes me), acted all studious and stuff. didn't mind my classes today actually--they were all relatively interesting. 
2. it rained here today. i hate rain and college. they don't mix well at all. bookbag, purse, water bottle, umbrella, leather jacket, the frustrations never end. 
3. I GOT A TICKET!!!!!!!!! (most of you will know for what, but i don't want to identify myself much either, so i won't say. but YAY!!!!!)

 so this post is prompted by a semi-serious discussion today about how much february sucks. april is not the cruelest month, ts eliot. okay, so it may be in some poetic sense, but february is the worst month. i think this is a general consensus too, unless your birthday is during february or something. reasons why i make this assertion: 1) valentine's day 2) weather 3) groundhog day 4) lack of sports (sometimes). okay, so that's all i can think of right now, but these are significant. valentine's day. really!? obviously it was invented by a guy so that they can only have to act like they care about mushy gushy love crap one day out of the year. otherwise, they would be expected to show affection 24/7/365--yeah, right. so a day was invented so that guys could have it all or nothing--all on valentine's day and nothing the rest of the year. how cheap. and if you're single *ahem* then it really sucks. like come on, it's just an excuse to get drunk and forget about all your happy couple friends (sorry parents, it's true). like really, do you want me to drink all day and eat a box of chocolates that my empathetic single girl friend bought me? didn't think so--valentine's day sucks. the weather, oh gracious. the weather of february is generally sleety/gray/cold. no snow, no sunshine, just an unhappy medium. i hate weather in february. it's just asking for everyone to have SAD (seasonal affective disorder) and hate their lives. like i said earlier, rain in college makes me want to stay in bed and skip class (not that i ever do). so come on, weather gods, make me motivated to go to class...please? groundhog day is related to weather. and of course, today the stupid groundhog saw his shadow. what the hell, man?! come on. you know the weather gods listen to you, mister groundhog, so why not cooperate? or else i'll you down and blind or kill you (as my friend suggested). so you better watch out. and sports...it's before march madness and after bowl games--how is that a good thing? and especially right now since my team isn't doing so hot (okay, we're bad). and luckily the olympics are this year or else i might really go crazy. the x-games were pretty sick, not gonna lie, but the olympics will help me survive this february. so yeah, these are the main reasons why february sucks. basically. and i just really want it to be march. unless he comes to visit before february is over.

history

1. i've spent a lot of time lately thinking about becoming addicted to peggle. i'm not actually addicted to it yet, but i am pretty sure this is the first step. if you don't know what peggle is...don't find out! it's addicting, like i may have already made clear.
2. figured out what i want to do for spring break! now i just have to buy a ticket and get excited! i really wish i could get tan over break, but i'm almost positive that will not happen--so i might as well go somewhere cold and snowy! 
3. had five meetings today, one of which had free pizza. i spend a lot of my "free" MWF in meetings, doing schoolwork, or going to the gym. downtime is a nonexistent thing in college. but hopefully i can keep meeting new people at these meetings and class work sessions. 

 the title is pretty self-explanatory. i want to talk about history tonight. i love history; it's a strange love that came about sometime in high school, even though i always hated ap u.s.h. but i mainly love modern european history (good thing they offer that concentration at my school), especially WWII and the holocaust. morbid? maybe, but fascinating. and it's so important to look to the past while living in the present and planning for the future. i heard somewhere that history doesn't repeat itself but it sure follows some similar patterns. i think everyone should study history in some capacity as a kind of "here's what not to do" lesson. yet it's not totally fair to say people in the past screwed stuff up, or else how would civilization be where it is today? but i love that there is so much history in this world. think about it--every person who has ever lived on this planet had a personal history. relationships and events happened to each person--think about how many books that would fill! and if everyone kept a life diary...wow. so much information. but also, so much is lost and unknown, which is why it's so interesting to study and speculate about the past. there are so many mysteries that are just...not solved and may never be solved. like really, what happened to the lost colony?! i just want to know, damn it. or the aztecs, the myans, the incans. the mesopotamians, the ancient scholars and rumored texts and arts that are lost forever. what happened? that's all i want to know, but will never know about so much. frustrating, yet fascinating. and also, the history that is formed on an individual level and is usually only important to so few people, but seems massively important. like my life story seems so significant to me (i guess because i'm living it), but think about all the people who will never know about me or care about what happened in my life. history is so humbling, which is another good thing about it. there are thousands of important and influential people, but that is such a small number when one considers how many billions (trillions?) of people have lived and died. then again, it is impossible to demean all the people who have lived before me because i feel like each person is in some way responsible for where i am in my life now. i have this crazy sense of cosmic connection that i believe in--maybe i should save that for another post. anyway, i'm done contradicting myself now! a light-hearted post is in the works for one of these upcoming nights, i promise.

southern soul

1. had another day of homework and chilling. i'd like a little less homework and a little more chilling though...
2. fell on my butt in the snow (ice) right outside my dorm. i knew it was going to happen, but just kept walking. now i have a nice bruise and wet pants! oh, and i'm really glad classes before 10 am were canceled...since i don't have any classes tomorrow and everything. 
3. two long days of classes this week, then a brief trip back to the hometown for family time and all that good stuff. 

i was chatting with a friend and we were talking about the south and politics. it made me want to post about the crazy culture of the south. so here goes! first off, i am not even from the deep south. there are differences in the south--there is florida, it's barely even southern it's so touristy now; there is the deep south (the magnolia curtain and beyond); there is the bible belt; and the northern south (just what it sounds like). i'm from the northern south, but my parents are from the deep south (louisiana) and the bible belt (tennessee). but the culture of the south, from what little i have grown up with in 20 years, is irreplaceable, unforgettable--what my family likes to call southern-fried crazy. the raising i had is like a mix between southern and european. i was raised to say "yes ma'am" and "no sir" like you wouldn't believe, but i also started to drink with my family when i was old enough to hold a tiny wine glass. i feel like i was raised to be polite, but speak my mind. the consequence for bringing home a yankee? only as bad as bringing home a republican. note: not all southerners are republicans! another note: but most republicans are southerners. like i said, i was raised in a hicktown, backwoods, rebel yell kinda place. but i vote democratic and have traveled extensively. so this is turning into more of a discussion of the paradoxes present in my life growing up, but i think that's also an essence of southern culture. the web of societal norms, rules, and expectations required the utmost grace and precision to walk through. i have a deep respect for the southern culture and the southern way. i love where i am from and would have it no other way. trust me, i have issues some of the ways of thinking and living apparent down south, but i rectify those issues in my own way. and when it comes down to it, i will defend the southern culture 'til my dying day. there is a beauty and a love inherent in the ideal of southern hospitality that isn't present anywhere else in this country. this has been a subject that had proved difficult--how do i express the love i have for this place in a blog space? maybe tomorrow night will just be stories from my family, my life, my friends, my experiences that will color the issue mo' betta. for now,

oh, and my bucket list thing is to learn to speak Italian, from an Italian. 

beauty.

1. woke up when my body wanted me to today--no alarm. it was great. and 12:36 pm. yessss.
2. finally made my cookies. they turned into more of a cookie cake, but at least they didn't stick. yummy. 
3. managed to not go crazy over the snow like most people here. i love the snow, don't get me wrong, but it was of the ice variety and pretty painful upon contact. but pretty all the same!

so, miss virginia won tonight. i was shocked! she was the one i decided i liked the most last night, and the girls i like never win. and her answer to the interview question about childhood obesity was baller. the first thing she said was "get them away from the tv and the video games and get them playing imaginary games outside like i did when i was little." hell. yes. i knew i liked her for a reason. anyway, the miss america pageant made me want to talk about beauty. beauty is so individual. someone i think is pretty my guy friends think is ugly; a girl i think is unfortunate, they think is hot. what's the deal? even among people of the same sex, what is considered beautiful is so so so varied. i just find it interesting that we are all genetically almost the exact same, yet all manage to look so different. i found this website that allows the user to create his/her own snowflake and it is pretty fun. just like no snowflake is alike, no person is alike (identical twins do not count in this case). and sometimes i think about how if any little think about my conception was different, i would not be here, i would not be me. isn't that a trip?! i have this quote that i like a lot "you can never replace anyone, because everyone is made of such beautiful, specific details." it's so true that it's almost difficult for me to comprehend. how can we all be humans, yet all be so different? the beautiful and specific details are what makes each of us beautiful in some way, to some one. it sounds corny, i know, but it's true when you think about it. beauty is just so hard to define. that's why i'm attracted to it i guess, similar to last night's topic. so how do people get off saying YOU are beautiful, YOU are ugly. sorry. the confines of being beautiful in one culture and ugly in another are crazy to me too. how is that fair or justifiable? it's been said a million times before, but i think it's so true. the influence society has on people to this day is amazing. it's no longer evolutionarily required that society mandate how to live life, yet people are still so drawn in by and affected by its norms and regulations. so this post has mushroomed in a lot of directions, but i'm okay with that. and i'm also finished posting for the night. the picture choice is difficult for this one, but i'm going with corny (again).

does it have to be kept?

1. had a good time last night with high school friends. sat around, chilled, shot the bull until the wee hours--gotta love college. 
2. no classes today! did laundry, caught up on magazines/tv shows, considered baking cookies. maybe tomorrow.
3. i'm enjoying having a nothing weekend. plan on doing work tomorrow, maybe watching a movie, watching the SNOW (yes, did i mention it's snowing?!) and baking cookies.

i already know what i want to talk about tomorrow night--big night and big topic! so look forward to that. but tonight i want to talk about truth. it seems as if people never discuss what is the truth, only what is a lie. lies seems to be gray, nebulous things that are so hard to discern. well, from some schools of thought that's how lies are considered. others define lies as untruths. but that brings me back to my original question--what is the truth? how can one thing be defined by its antithesis? so the truth is...whatever is not a lie? but a lie is an untruth, a skewed version of the truth? see my problem? how can a definition contain the antonym--that seems like cheating. so for something to be a lie, it can either be said or unsaid. but is it the same for a truth? is the truth spoken, known, unspoken? and i think it's weird how something unsaid is a lie, but when spoken suddenly becomes a truth. think about it--someone keeps something from you and tells you something else (a lie); but when the something being kept is spoken aloud, it becomes a truth. the rapid transformation is so interesting to me. lie-->truth. and truth can become a lie when it is then not disclosed. truth-->lie. so then is it truth<-->lie? i think that makes sense. i feel like a philosophy student writing a dissertation.

just chilling.

1. had my classes today--still might drop inls because it's really stupid. but we'll see.
2. at a stupid school for the night. i hate this school. but here i am, with my friends. should be fun! no classes tomorrow.
3. i'm looking forward to a calming weekend. i have had a...stressful...couple of days.

short post tonight. i don't really feel like posting at all. it's been one of those...24 hours? i just don't have much to say.

"street cred"

1. hit the snooze button a lot. it was a nice feeling.
2. HGS--my version of GTL (gym, tan, laundry, for the jersey shore ignorant). homework, gym, shower. good stuff.
3. more homework/lab hours/not eating at dinner. still not hungry for dining hall food. yuck.

so, the promised list of the top six fashion mistakes guys make, again with the disclaimer, in my opinion. i hope guys can learn from this list and correct some of the fashion mishaps they may be making and girls are too nice to tell them about. da da da...here it goes...

1. WIFEBEATERS--okay, first off, the name of this "garment" is unacceptable. wifebeater? come on. wifebeaters are like skankware for a guy. they are gross and unacceptable in most environments. a side note to this comment: no, wifebeaters are not okay at the gym. they are still see-through and cheap looking and most guys who wear them either have too-big egos or don't have the body for it. just wear a t-shirt, please. overall, wifebeaters (and guy tank tops) are just not okay with me. they look like trailor trash clothing, so why would a guy want to emulate that? not so sure.
2. BAGGY PANTS--okay, this is for you. baggy pants do not make you look cool. they make you look like you don't know how to buy something that fits. this actually goes for shirts, shoes, jackets, anything guys wear. it doesn't fit. and yes, maybe it's "cool" or gives you "street cred" to wear baggy pants--but imo you just look like a dumbass. clothes that fit are sexy; conversely, clothes that don't fit (especially if intended to not fit) look stupid. and like you are trying way too hard. or like you don't know how to find clothes that fit your body.
   
3. PLEATED PANTS--so i know this is a lot about pants. but i hate pleated pants. they add bulk and make guys look oddly distended and weird in the pelvis area. they make flat-front pants--so buy them! pleats are such an old-school throwback and make pants look too big and make everything look too bulky (in a BAD way). now, an addendum to this, pleats are okay in rare cases. if the pants fit a guy to a tee and the pleat is there because it needs to be for the pant to fit--that's fine. but most pants with pleats are just trying to look like dress pants, and failing. 
4. SWEATPANTS--yup, this one crosses over between genders. i hate when guys look like slobs. if i took the time to put on clothes, you can too. i can't decide which bugs me more--wearing sweatpants to try to look cool and laid back and hip, or wearing sweatpants because you are lazy as hell. if you look like you don't care, girls don't care either. and will talk to the guy who has attractive, well -fitting clothes on and leave you with your gross sweats for the gym. and it seems that sweats are always paired with wifebeaters--even worse! and if bling is added? oh please.
   
5. MISMATCHED--now, this is not an item of clothing, but it applies to a lot of things. wearing colors or patterns that do not go together is so annoying. did you get dressed in the dark? even if you did, look down when you get outside and make sure color schemes work (if you'd like personal advice, please, just ask me). same goes for patterns--different patterns can match, but it depends. as a general rule, bold patterns (stripes, plaids, dots, floral, etc.) do not go together. one must be the dominant and one the subordinate print. also, make sure dressiness level matches. yes, casual and dress items can be mixed but only to a point. tie, dress shirt, shorts? not okay. tshirt, dress pants, tennis shoes? not okay.
6. HATS/JEWELRY--this is an important one. i generally dislike hats. some people are "hat people," others are not. know which type you are and stick to it. hats inside? never okay. hats backwards because they look "cool?" only okay if you have street cred (note: most of you reading this blog do not. that's right, even you. nope...you don't either). also, jewelry is hard to wear as a guy. bling just looks stupid and bulky and excessive and egotistical. especially if it's fake! earrings can be okay sometimes, but only studs, never loops. bracelets? why do i even have to chastise a guy for wearing a bracelet (and no, not the rubber ones that say inspirational stuff--those are okay). rings? only when married. basically, accessories are typically a "girl thing," especially jewelry. and hats...sigh. i guess i just don't like hats, unless absolutely functional. 

so, that's my list for guys. it's a little less specific, but still important! i think at some point i want to write lists for girls and guys about items i think each should have in his/her closet. yes, those are important lists. these posts were not intended to offend, just offer my opinion and educate!

boots with the fur

1. had my classes, went to my meetings, ate a meal! that was a pretty exciting day considering yesterday was spent alternately napping in bed, writing a paper, and forcing sips of water. yay, recovery!
2. decided (again) that red pumps are a necessity. perhaps if i save up some extra $, it can be redirected into my red shoe fund. donations are appreciated.
3. still working on making friends with new people in new classes--more information coming...

 tonight, as promised to two of my friends, i am posting about bad fashion choices. i will make a list of the top six worst fashion mistakes a girl can make, in my humble opinion. tomorrow night, the same list will be repeated, but for guys. take notes! the fashion policewoman is reporting for duty...

1. UGGS--are only appropriate for sheep herders in the down under. i abhor ugg boots at all times, no matter what. as my friend says "ugg boots make girls look like a paraplegic." while this is not a joking matter (being paraplegic or wearing ugg boots) it must be said that I HATE UGG BOOTS. i've finally said it, out loud and proud. they are the epitome of notgivingadamn, especially when sweatpants are shoved into them and a ratty sweatshirt rounds out the whole ensemble.
2. PAJAMAS--on that note, pajamas in public=not okay. don't get me wrong, i love my pajamas and put them on asap upon arriving in my dorm. however, when i see girls in pajamas walking to class, i'm beyond frustrated. is it that hard to put on jeans instead of pajama pants and a tshirt instead of a sweatshirt? "comfortable" does not have to mean "slept-in." the most illogical thing is changing from pajamas worn to bed into pajamas for class--just put on f'ing real clothes, damn it!
3. LEGGINGS--i can't believe this didn't occur to me earlier. leggings are not pants. leggings are not pants. leggings. are. not. pants. i almost think that this should have been my blog title, just to teach everyone a lesson. leggings are made of see-through, negligee-esque, tight fabric that a) does not function as a pant because it does not cover one's body, b) does not look good on every body type (!), and c) may be comfortable, but please, see above note.
4. SKANKWEAR--while skanky clubwear is more than appropriate in some situations (be they public or private situations, i.e. jersey shore party, bedroom, etc.) in class, at the store, and on the job are example places where skankwear is not acceptable. not only is it not acceptable, it comes across as looking desperate, ditzy, and...well...skanky. now, my friends mentioned above may differ with my opinion on this one, but i'm really not wanting to see your goods flying out of your clothes when i'm trying to talk about Huck Finn, trying to buy my damn groceries, or trying to run a restaurant.
5. CROCS--again, how did this wait until the fifth slot? i hate crocs. i don't care if you stand up all day--there are more attractive shoes that can be functional for arch support as well as easy-to-clean. just...buy another pair of shoes and save the crocs for the...dumpster. actually, in the spirit of giving, can everyone just donate their crocs to haiti? since the only thing they are good for is disaster zones, they might actually be put to use. on second thought, i care more for the haitians than to send them crocs. please, for the sake of humanity, invest in another pair of shoes than crocs.
6. VPL--visible panty line. and other visible undergarments. again, guys may differ for this one, but i hate when i can see a most obvious panty line in a situation when a panty line should not be visible (i.e., at work). the gym is an exception to this rule--by all means look cute at the gym, and by all means wear full-coverage at the gym. but aside from that, if one is going to wear tight pants, PLEASE just wear a thong or a seamless panty. also, bra straps. how can bra straps still show these days when there are bras that convert 50+ ways (no joke). unless it's meant to show (see #4), just buy a bra that works for a lot of styles of shirts. 

so, that's my fashion list (thus far). guys, if interested, read tomorrow night for what you should not wear (again, in my opinion). also, feel free to comment and agree/disagree.

shawty

1. i have been sick as a dog since last night. pretty sure it was food poisoning, also pretty sure i want it to be over and done with asap. being sick sucks so bad--being sick in college is the worst ever. 
2. wrote my first paper of the semester today. yes, that's right, paper #1 is due tomorrow and it's only the third week of classes. gross.
3. started my involvement in another lab today! i like both the lab environments and i'm pumped to start working more in-depth in both labs. i do cool stuff, man.

 this is another short post. reason 1: i feel like i've been punched in the stomach and stuffed with spiky rocks from dining hall food. reason 2: i have to finish editing my paper. reason 3: my mind has been relatively empty of exciting thoughts today. i guess i just want to talk about being lucky. i feel really lucky (despite my torn up insides). mainly, i'm happy about the fact that i know what i want to do with my life. i may not have specifics nailed down, but i have a general idea and i'm taking the steps to make that plan happen. i love what i'm studying in school and am so excited to live college life and see where i go after that. i want new experiences and i want to make everyone in my life proud and i want to be all i can be. so this has been a pretty optimistic and cheesy post, but it's true. i feel lucky to know what i want and to be on the track taking me there. i recognize every day that people are not as fortunate as i am in this respect, and i hope everyone will figure stuff out in his/her own way.

"hokay, so. here is zee earth..."

1. stayed up late again...napped (for once)...did homework.
2. went to the gym! i forgot how much i love going to the gym. it makes me feel like a badass who can beat people up. on that note, i want to take boxing lessons.
3. got sick, still sick, hopefully from dining hall food and not from a stomach bug. ughhhh.
   

 like i said last night, i want to talk about the movie avatar tonight. specifically, how it made me feel and how it addresses environmentalism. the movie made me sad (i cried), furious, hopeless, and awed (beautiful cinematography). i was cheering against the American soldiers and for the N'avi people. the brutality of the Americans and the intrinsically peaceful nature of the N'avi made an obvious historical reference. but what tore me up the most, other than seeing all the people die, was the destruction of the planet. my mother can attest to the fact that i cried when a tree was cut down outside my house when i was a girl. literally, crying and begging my mother to stop them. but no, they cut the tree down anyway, and now my parents regret it because it used to block the view of a house way up on the mountain, but not anymore. ha! anyway, what i want to impress with this post is the importance of conservation of and connection to planet earth. i know people think that the problems today won't matter by the time our generation dies, but that is not true. the environmental crisis is real and it is eminent. i can't fathom how people refuse to take the steps that can reduce the impact humans have already made on this planet. this is our earth, our island home, and we are destroying it. every second of every day. and when people are BLIND and STUPID and UNCARING about their personal impact--it drives me insane. this, unfortunately, is directed mainly at my conservative readers, although i know plenty of liberals who don't care about the earth. i know there are huge and pressing issues that plague our generation, but if the earth is not taken care of, there will be no issues left, because there will be no life left. the earth and her resources and life systems are precious--that is all i can say.

next up on the list--live on my own!

the best is yet to come

1. saw avatar today...it was amazing. like, life-changing.
2. my friend is here visiting, yay! 
3. went out for mexican food--delicious. now it's time for a fun night!

 so i want to post about avatar. but i don't really have time tonight to say everything that i want to say about it, so that post will be tomorrow night. but for tonight i'll talk really quick about family. my family is my life. i love them more than i can ever express and am beyond loyal to my family. they have shaped me and made me into the person i am today--i don't know where i would be without my family, my whole family, my FAVORITE family. each member of my family has made me into the woman i am and continues to change my life. how i was raised is so important to me. i try my best to make them all proud and people know that they don't mess with the people in my life. loyalty is immensely important to me--this goes for my friends too--you mess with my people, i mess with you. it's a very la familia concept (i just wish i was italian though...) anyway, i guess this is just a shoutout kind of to the people who are most important to me in my life. so thank you, i love you, and i wish i could post a picture of you all, but that's not safe!

this life

1. passed the treasurer's test, what-what. only after failing it once...by doing one math problem wrong...whateverrrr. so now i can start my intensive treasurer-ly duties. but really, this is not like high school--college treasurer's are legit.
2. enjoyed a yummy lunch with a friend. ice cream was deferred, although it may have been our last chance to eat it...
3. did no homework and it felt great! that means the paper writing will happen tomorrow (probably not). 

c'est la vie. my mother is always insistent about how life changes. how much do i hate this fact? a lot. i know, i know, i've posted about how i want change in my life and how i need change in my life, how we all need change. that could have been a bit hypocritical considering i can't even accept change in my life--so who am i to preach about other people needing to accept change? i just like routine and i like knowing how things are and how they're going to end up. this is not the best thing considering no one knows what will happen. so i've chosen something impossible to be concerned about--what will happen. but maybe i should just rip the band-aid off (or the strip--hahaha). i guess if i actually do make a major change then it will get easier? i mean, college has turned out well so far, right? talk about a major change. so i can do this right? right? i need some verification here....yikes.

waves

1. walked around all day in the "winter" weather. rainy. cold. gross. not fun.
2. decided that i want to study abroad somewhere like hawaii. looked online, of course, no programs in hawaii. fiji? no thanks, i'm not into 24 hour plane rides. 
3. oh, and i got the job at starbucks but probably can't take it because i'd have to miss classes to train--not happening. so i'm still looking.

i want to talk really quick about the ocean. this discussion is precipitated by two things. 1) the jersey shore season finale tonight, and 2) wanting to go back to hawaii. the ocean has always been a favorite place of mine. i love the  hugeness of the ocean, as well as the consistency. the ocean will never let me down--the waves will always crash. what kinds of things in life are dependable like that? things in nature. the ocean at sunrise is possibly my favorite place to be on vacation.

ruffling feathers

1. so. busy. life is moving at a pace faster than...a cheetah! meetings, classes, homework, job opportunities, my future plans (!), liiiiiiife. it all takes so much time.
   
2. i like being busy, but i also like having a life and downtime--which i have started to just...create...by not doing homework or by postponing it or something. for example, the 55 pdf pages that are do for my 2:00 class tomorrow are getting finished (only 15 left!) tomorrow during my break from 12:30-class time. this is my brilliant plan to get to sleep on time and have social hour with my friends. 
3. hoping that this weekend will work out and my best girl can come visit me! also hope that spring break works out and i can do something fun like visit my other bestie! yay for trips and friends.

i want to talk (briefly, again, sorry) about...politics! haha, dangerous waters, i know. but i just want to leave a brief note or two about the...republican party. i realize that each party sees the other as close-minded, unable to accept change, blatantly refusing to accept advice or help, etc. but really, i truly believe these things and get immensely frustrated by people who accuse liberals of being close-minded. really?! the proponents of gay marriage, woman's choice, legalizing pot (in some cases), and extending help to foreign nations, just to name a few, are close-minded? how, how, how is that being narrow?! i become upset and over-emotional and too involved in political discussions, but that's just my nature. i can't see how republicans/conservatives/whatever label preferred can claim that i am ignorant or weak-willed or idealistic (as if that's a bad thing) for being liberal/democratic/etc. i support a woman's choice, so i'm a babykiller? right. i kill babies. i am a proponent of environmental awareness and protection. so i am a lily-livered treehugger who believes fake science? uh-huh. the earth isn't in danger of drastic negative change. i believe in providing assistance to those less fortunate than myself. so i'm an ignorant and money senseless bleeding heart? okay. sorry i want to help people. my point is that because my political views are a certain way, broad and drastic statements about me are not okay. yes, i do the same thing. and because i don't see eye-to-eye with conservatives, i can never truly see an issue from the other side. but when i hear over and over the criticisms i listed above, my faith in the republican party isn't exactly bolstered. sorry if this post has been erratic, but it's hard for me to clearly articulate all my feelings about this partisan issue. on that note...

bored and busy

1. I like all my classes except one; it is very boring and so hard to care about/pay attention to. 
2. so busy and have so much work, onto of trying to apply to have more work (paid, at least).
3. doing my best to try to remember my mantra "to fly."

so I just watched the movie Paths of Glory for one of my classes. unnamed friend in my class, you know who you are, this post is for you. I brought up a point that I have come to believe about the military and all related institutions. they operate on the principles evident in all humans that Milgram and Zimbardo revealed in their infamous experiments about authority, control, role-playing, and domination. while the claims I made after the movie seemed to ruffle some feathers of the more militaristic in my class, I stand by my point. I am not arguing that the military institutions do not need to run like well-oiled machines and that these institutions are evil or inhumane or anything like that. I am simply arguing that the experiments run revealed fundamental truths about humanity. as an example, I like to use the nazis in hitler's germany. while the convenient thing to assume is that "they were all evil and horrible people who truly believed in the nazi dogma and the extermination of Jews," I like to argue that NO, they were people, citizens, humans, just like you and I. what I have learned from psychology classes is that people like to assume that they are different from those in these experiments or those living under dictatorships. welcome to the beauty of random selection and assignment. random selection: for a psychology experiment (or any experiment), each participant had an equal chance of being picked as every other person from the representative sample being studied. random assignment: the process by which any participant has an equal chance of being assigned to a condition as any other participant. by these stipulations, the people in the control and experimental groups are essentially the same. because of this, the people who shocked the learners to supposed death in Milgrim's and the guards in Zimbardo's experiment are more alike each of us than they are different. now I made this a long post for two reasons: it was indirectly requested, and I have a lot to say on this subject. please feel free to comment with your thoughts or if you would like to continue this discussion. in the end, judgment cannot be passed on the "evil" participants or the "evil" nazis. yes, their crimes were committed and they were horrible (trust me, don't get me started about justice being served), but it is not because they were inherently evil people! final scene of Paths of Glory is a great example...

fly

1. did homework all day! 
2. did my best to help get a friend on the student body president ballot.
3. mentally prepared myself for this upcoming week--procrastination is not my friend and being uberbusy isn't a great thing either...

this is what I want--to take flight. I want to turn into a woman who can take this world. only by taking risks and taking chances will I reach this freedom. breaking away from things in life can be scary, but also necessary. isn't this what these years in my life are about? being a new and free person? how I define freedom isn't something I can explicate right now; it's just something that needs to happen. my new mantra will be to fly. short post, I know, but some of the things I want to say are still wrapped up in my mind and can't quite make it out on paper yet. but soon, everything will come together.