byah!

1. took my roman art final this morning and got a 96 for the final grade in that class! i'm so happy to have my first A of the semester pinned down. also, i really enjoyed that class and it obviously paid off.
2. almost finished my 10 page paper that is due on may 7th--see, i'm not procrastinating that badly!
3. went out to a delicious dinner with my friends and an even more delicious dessert. orange leaf, i love you.

i watched the matrix for the first time tonight! it. was. so crazy. one of my favorite quotes from the movie was when the oracle says something along the lines of "would you still have knocked that vase over if i hadn't said anything?" that was one of my main problems with the oracle, but this is addressed later in the movie when morpheus tells neo that "she told you exactly what you needed to hear." but it raises another interesting question that the bad guy (mustache guy, cipher) brings up. how is what morpheus is making his followers do any different than what the agents expect from humans? he is still expecting blind obedience to his version of the truth--it's just a different kind of truth. and if reality is only a neurological processing result, then how is what morpheus says is reality real? anyway, it was a damn good movie and i am still undecided about whether or not to see the second and third--the opinions differ.

woes

1. studied and wrote a paper for most of the day.
2. spent some of that study time outside, which was nice. 
3. we figured out i can get a 69 on my exam tomorrow and still get an A in the class. cool.

one of my other classes is not looking so great though--i guess that is what happens when you don't care about a class, huh? anyway, short post tonight, i'm looking to go to bed early and get some sleep. let's hope i wake up in time! i have two alarms set for 7 am on a saturday--sweet!

and so it begins

1. today was the first reading day...that means exams tomorrow!
2. my first exam is saturday at 8 am (did i mention that it's at 8 am in the morning...on a saturday...blasphemy)
3. i am slowly losing my voice and gaining a cough. perfect timing, body!

oh man. it's exam week here. you know what that means. the sweatpants-in-public incidence rises, the adderall bottles pop open, and the fight for a table in the terrible dining halls heats up. people wander around for a good quarter of an hour looking for a study room in the libraries. i never understood that, even though i participate in the endless quest also. i KNOW there will not be an open study room, yet i endlessly HOPE that one will magically open up as i walk by. and the one time in the four semesters i have been in college, it has actually happened. this is what sustains my hope. before making it to the library, though, i have to find the motivation to study. motivation is as abstract and difficult to grasp for a college student as molecular biology or quantitative psychology or ancient history. it. is. so. hard. spring exams are the worst too. like really, it's beautiful outside and you expect me to study in a dusty library?! in-con-ceivable! and it's the end of the year and, honestly, no one gives a shit anymore. it's the end of the year, it's springtime (so close, SO CLOSE to summertime), and how much does that GPA matter anyway, right? now to those of you who are concerned about my academic career...good thing you are because i certainly am not! joke. i am, i swear. but i have a nice movie to watch and a whole day to study tomorrow for a 40 question multiple choice final that is 20% of my final grade. really now, would you be studying either? **disclaimer** yes, obviously, i am still studying and taking my finals seriously. but still, i can gripe.

so over it

1. very hard morning, even harder day as it went on. so glad it's about to be over...
2. tomorrow starts my work days until saturday when my first exam is. let's go!
3. i'm just so tired. 

a huge part of me wants to just cry. i'm so tired and stressed and in pain and emotional. this is not good, since exams are starting and i need to pull myself together and make it through. i promise, a longer and more interesting and hopefully funny blog post tomorrow night.

hokay, here is the...end

1. LDOC!!!
2. i had a great night--made some polyvore sets, wrote two pages of my ten page paper due may 7th, and watched chopped with my boyfriend. now it's bed time. i love sleep.
3. great day planned tomorrow and then it's crunch time.

i am writing a ten page paper for my class and loving it. nerdy? yes. but classic C. i am approaching the end, my classes are over and exams start soon. after the end comes the next beginning. i'm so excited/nervous! great things await me, of that i am sure.

so close...

1. last day of no monday classes for the semester!
2. i am slowly becoming more obsessed with polyvore.com. 
3. i'm a very happy lady. 

my change has taken effect, or rather, has been in effect and i'm very happy with the outcome. i hope that i can keep on keeping on and make use of the happiness i've established.

how low

1. woke up at noon today and had a great morning. not having a roommate is weird but nice because i can live on my own schedule now. 
2. i discovered a new frozen yogurt place today, thanks to my suitemate, and went not once, but twice. it was so amazing. the flavors are delicious, it's cheap, and there are so many toppings. and it's all low- or non-fat and all natural. what could be better?...that's right, nothing. 
3. listened to some music today and cleaned my room and re-organized it. sometimes i get in really productive moods. those are good moods!

dancing. i love to dance. i always have, ever since my sister and her friend "taught" me how to hip hop dance when i was 11. good timing, too, since i had my first school dance the fall after i turned 11 and started the 6th grade. it's the best way for me to release stress. going to the bar on thursday nights has been the most fun i've had in a long time. i go out with my friends, don't have class on friday, and just dance for hours. it's such a good workout and it's SO much fun. i've been told that i'm a pretty good (hahaha) dancer too, so that's good to know. when i hear a song come on that i love, i just want to dance. this kind of relates to my post about  music, but dancing is whole nother lever for me, because i'm actually good at dancing, as opposed to singing. give me a night in college to do whatever i want and it's probably going to involve dancing with people who know how to dance for most of the night. on that note, my bucket list item:
take dance lessons for other kinds that i'm not so good at...to be determined later.

f is for fate

1. i woke up at 2 pm. it was so amazing. i had nothing school-wise to do today and it was so nice. 
2. the semester is winding down and i'm getting geared up for last day of classes (ldoc) and finals. then summer! 
3. rain in college=horrible. at least it is the weekend and i didn't have to walk to class. 

fate. i think it was fate that what happened tonight happened. those who were with me tonight know to what i am referring, those who were not, don't worry, it's not a big deal. but i think it was a message, a sign, so we'll see what happens from here. tomorrow is sunday! one of the few sundays left in the semester...

synonymous.

1. no classes again today; volunteered for my psych lab for most of the day. 
2. ate a yummy dinner with my boyfriend and hung out with friends all night. 
3. got an email from my mom about summer plans...i'm excited! 

tired. exhausted. sleepy. dead. dreamy. loopy. weary. drowsy.
any synonyms for how you feel?
sorry for the short post. i'll do better tomorrow! 

it's that time

1. HAPPY EARTH DAY!!!
2. had a decently fun night out with my friends; can't wait for this weekend!
3. tomorrow is friday! yay! and my summer plans are coming together very nicely...

so, it's the start of the weekend for me. you know what that means...short blog posts. i'm really exhausted tonight. but today was earth day, the 40th anniversary, and i hope everyone celebrated. think about your imprint on this planet and ways to reduce your carbon footprint.

11:11

1. such a fortuitous time to start my blog!
2. had a good (long) day today volunteering in my primary lab. i'm so ready for bed.
3. tomorrow is my last real day of classes! next tuesday is basically a giveaway day; we go over exam material and summarize the semester. a celebration is in order!

i think biology is crazy. i've written about this before, but i've been seeing a lot of statuses lately about people i know from high school having babies and being pregnant and it's so weird to me. the whole aging process is becoming more and more of a miracle to me as the days pass. to think that we all started as microscopic specks and grew in the womb and then were born and then grew up...it's all so weird to me. to think that two people can create an entirely new individual is so fascinating to me. it's interesting that i didn't like biology more than i did because the life process enthralls me. to just think about how we all started and how we'll all end up is crazy, so crazy. even crazier is that our existence on this planet is an eye blink in planet time. not even that, actually. each individual life is so important and so miraculous, but so short and inconsequential at the same time. again, c'est la vie. and it's a beautiful day.

life's little things

1. classes today...the semester is winding down! only two more days of classes to go before finals. so scary!
2. have to wake up really early again, but it's worth it.
3. 4/20 and my 111th post! how fortuitous.

my university hosted a showing of planet earth tonight and had free food to go along with it. we watched jungle and deep ocean. jungle was so cool and deep ocean was just as cool but not as great of filming. it's hard to do time lapse video underwater! but some of the animals in the deep ocean are crazy. it was so fascinating watching nature play out on video. there is so much that happens that humans have no idea about. the little things in life have started to fascinate me. it's part of my recent interest in fate and the "pretty little mistakes" that characterize our existence on earth. watching the mold grow across the forest floor and the mushrooms pop out of the ground...things that happen so slow in real life are sped up by the human technology. but what is crazy is how much we have captured on camera and seen of this world doesn't even compare to what is out there. and while i become disheartened and discouraged by the destruction humans have caused and the depth of our infiltration into the natural world, i am hopeful that we cannot reach all ends of the earth. that there will remain pristine parts of this planet, away from human eyes and human reach. i am hopeful, but maybe that is naive. earth day is fast approaching and i encourage all of us to remember the little things and to watch our steps.

(kind of) sports

1. woke up at 5:15 in the morning and got ready to go to high school all over again! it was such a long day. i've been awake for almost 18 hours right now. that's why i'm about to gtb (go to bed)!
2. came back to college (yippee!) and ran more participants for my second lab. oh, academia.
3. i had a short talk with one of my grad student advisers about this summer and my expectations, the realities, etc. it made me feel better.

baseball. i hate it. it is a pointless sport that is played by guys who like their dip can and steroid needle more than being athletic. soccer is a real sport. i love soccer (perhaps because i played it for 10 years). there is so much action and so much excitement and so much hotness! soccer players are real athletes. world cup 2010, let's go.

sometimes...

1. slept late-ish today, had a wonderful morning and afternoon, did some homework, ate a yummy dinner, now going to bed! 
2. i have to wake up at 5:15 am tomorrow morning for the lab i work in. dedication is the word of the week.
3. i got to play with and babysit kids on the autism spectrum today and it was really fun. they were adorable. all had their specific quirks, but dealing with them wasn't hard after learning how they had to function. but that in no way takes away from the unbelievably hard job parents of children on the autism spectrum have.

...i just get really tired of bullshit. why is there so much petty, unnecessary crap that happens? most of it seems absolutely ridiculous to me. yet my life (just like everyone's) is full of drama sometimes. people can just be really catty and stupid and jealous and projecting. but there isn't much more that i can say without getting way too personal.
my bucket list item: go to a beach famous for its shells and find the best ones on the beach for my collection.

abbrev

1. the title of this blog is for my ladies. good times.
2. i am happy that my parents landed safely from their spring break trip. i get nervous when anyone in my family travels. 
3. went to the mall today. why is the mall so much fun? i'm old enough that it shouldn't but fun, but it still is. 

protection: it's how i live my life. i am all about la familia. this post is for my friends and my family. mess with them and i will mess with you. they are my life. there is nothing i wouldn't do for them. no matter what, they are my life. if you are in my group, i will protect you and i will...f"**k you up if you ever hurt my people. i just love too fiercely and am too loyal to take anything less than that.

hoessick

1. registered for fall classes today! it's so exciting that i'm going to be a junior! and i got most of the classes that i want, but also didn't get a lot of the ones i did want. oh well, it's a give and take. 
2. apparently, though, i'm too OLD to get into italian 101--it's reserved for freshmen. what. the. hell. guess i missed the boat on that one...? lame.
3. went to relay for life for a few hours. it's cool to see the survivor lap in the beginning; a lot of people were crying and it made me really grateful and nostalgic. 

my title is in reference to the security message i was asked to type in when i wanted to comment on another blog. i thought it was really funny. it's not relevant to my blog at all. but i feel myself slipping back. that's all for tonight. and this is for my girl! mia, freshmen year, good times...

good times

1. classes most of the day--slept in to get some sleep to try and get over my illness. it semi-worked.
2. went to a cocktail tonight for my boyfriend's tour guide group that he's in; it was pretty fun and i got to dress up!
3. ladies' night at the bar in town. it was all my favorite girls and so much fun!

tonight is one of those nights i really don't want to blog. so, i'm not going to. nothing is more precious to me right now than sleep and dreaming and getting better. so that's what's on the schedule for tonight! i want everyone who is reading this to forgive me, please, for a lacking post. sometimes, it just happens. but hey, at least i'm still posting...

C being committed

1. woke up SO early today and went to do data collection for the lab i'm in--that was not fun--and it was cold. speaking of cold, i'm pretty sure i have one...in the middle of april...
2. i signed my lease for this summer! i'm SO excited!!!
3. tomorrow is going to be a very long day, so i'm blogging early and going to bed. almost my favorite place on this campus...

so, commitments. i have a major commitment to my blog. i blog every day, regardless of how tired or upset or happy or busy i am. i'm not gonna lie, it's been hard. like right now, when i feel like crap, i'm still blogging. but that's not the type of commitment i meant yesterday when i said i wanted to talk about them. i have a commitment to my future and a commitment to my labs. but when those commitments interfere with my personal life, how do i deal with that? there are certain things i want out of my life, obvious things like friendship and happiness (and many more things). but i also want professional greatness (what i define as greatness) and to be fulfilled in all ways. to flourish, essentially. but my commitments are conflicting right now. my commitment to friendship and the possibilities of friendship are being tested by the commitment i have to my lab, to my future plans, and to my professional self. so where to go from here? i am not sure. i remember from my AP psych class a term "cognitive dissonance." look it up, if you care to know more. anyway, i'm done for the night. still really confused about this topic and also about how much i can say on this blog.

ahhhh

1. i just ate a 14" pizza, a small cup of ben & jerry's ice cream, and am still alive and well. massive props to me!
2. classes today weren't that bad, actually. my break in between classes has become really nice too since i dropped that class awhile ago. 
3. blogging so early tonight because i am getting sick/allergic and feel not-so-good. benadryl, here i come...

me=so excited for summer! i am about to sign the lease (keep your fingers crossed) and can't wait to live on my own! or at least, not live with anyone i know. i hope i can get a job! and work and make money to offset some of the cost for this summer. and i'm excited to make progress in my career. short post tonight, but i feel really full and stuffed up. finishing up watching chopped on food network (best show ever) and then going to sleep! early morning tomorrow. i think tomorrow night i will talk about...commitments.

getting there

1. no classes today! i am trying to say this as much as possible before the semester ends and i can't say it again, since i will not have four day weekend and two days of class in the fall. boo!
2. got a lot of work done between yesterday and today, but still not quite caught up. that's what my break between classes tomorrow is for, though, right?
3. i realized that there are three weeks and three days left in my spring semester. yes..but where has all the time gone? (slight pirates of the caribbean reference)

picking up on the thread of me realizing that my spring semester, WHERE IS 2010 GOING?! this is my 103 blog post. that's a lot of day! almost 1/3 of the year! holy moly!!! where is my life going?! okay, minor freak out session over. but really, i register on friday for my junior year fall semester classes. NO WAY AM I ABOUT TO BE A JUNIOR IN COLLEGE. that is not even possible! okay, so i'm still freaking out. this summer is fast (warp speed) approaching and i don't even know how to deal with it. so much in my life is about to change and i have no way to control that. well, i always have a choice i suppose (according to my friend's dad), but do i really? my life will just happen with no regards to me anyway, so i might as well just accept the changes...right? yeesh. exam week will be here any second, and then summer, and then fall semester, and then december 31st and all this will be over. that is sad, yes kind of a relief. i feel this slight pressure to perform because of this blog. whether or not people actually read it doesn't really matter anymore...it's about me keeping my commitment to myself. following through with this will be the biggest new year's resolution i've ever kept (maybe the only one) and i think that's pretty exciting. okay, back to me freaking out. now that all this is happening and i am realizing that my semester is almost over, i'm suddenly wanting to slam on the breaks and live out my last weeks in slow and peaceful sunshiney bliss. not possible, but still unfortunate. i am still incredibly stoked for summer 2010 (i hope it doesn't let me down...), but i am getting a little nervous honestly. just a little. the "a lot nervous" will come closer to the date i move, most likely. anyway, time is flying and i'm standing still, so i better get my butt in gear and catch up!