i want some pie.

1. yes, roommate, I AM TIRED. there, i said it. so surprising. NOT.
2. i think i did well on my italian quiz today but i probably won't find out until next wednesday. 
3. one week from today is the first of october. i could not be happier!

stop reading this blog, i feel bad already. because i said i would blog about something interesting, but here i am blogging the same thing i always say.

my room!

1. not-as-long-as-usual day of classes today. i love having my last class canceled. 
2. had a friend over, relaxed some, went to the grocery, and studied. 
3. watched the season premiere of grey's anatomy!!!

just another thursday night! i have a better post for tomorrow night, i promise. i'm just watching a tv show right now and i'm going to go out soon so i need to get ready. but tomorrow will be better. promise!

vivaldi

1. italian class today. it was good, we got out early, of course. quiz on friday and i want to do really well! i'm in a competition with my friend to see who does the best on italian quizzes. 
2. spent the rest of the day in my two psych labs doing lab-related work. then came home and took a breather before boxing club! 
3. english class is canceled for tomorrow! whoo hoo, that means i get out at 3:15. 

i am all booked up for my nyc trip on halloween weekend! i am very excited. i am ready for the weekend but very nervous about how it's all going to happen. i know that i can do well but it's all about my mindset. i will (hopefully) be meeting some pretty famous researchers and i want to make an impression. i am also gearing up for a hopeful poster for another conference next fall. got to get all that written up and submitted by the first-ish of february. on a side note, today was the autumnal equinox and that means...FALL!!! too bad it's still about 90 degrees here every day. i always try to rank the seasons in my mind but i never can. i think spring in full swing might be my favorite, but i also really love fall. a chill but sunny fall day is one of the best there can be for me. however, summer is always a classic choice because of the break in school, the opportunities for vacations, my birthday, the hot weather, sundresses, etc. but...i also really like winter! i love snow and cold weather and getting all bundled up. okay, so i'm partially really excited for fall in NYC because of all the fashion-y and chilly clothes i get to wear. yes, i can be that shallow. i love the seasons and i want to live in a place that has seasons, real seasons. where i am now there are seasons...kind of. where i grew up, now those are real seasons. but we'll see where the wind takes me. for now, i better go find another summer outfit for school tomorrow...so frustrating. it's time for jeans and sweaters and scarves and jackets and boots!
the seasons by james thomson.

now, stop! it's mantra time.

1. watching chopped champions! this is the last round before the ultimate showdown. i love this show; i  never get tired of it. 
2. had a so-so day today. i woke up and was just exhausted. but i'm over the mid-week hump and wednesdays are usually better for me. i just have to pace myself homework wise and i should be okay. 
3. i was draining my chocolate pudding cup of the film of liquid that sits on top and it fell into the trashcan! i was so upset. not a good ending to my day!

had a blah day today but while i was working out towards the end of the night, after i most likely re-injured my quad muscle (we'll see how it is in the morning), i realized that i need to have some mantras that i repeat to myself daily. so i have written them down elsewhere since mantras can be somewhat personal. but whenever i notice myself thinking in a particular way, i will say my mantra until i am thinking on track again. the power of positive thinking! i need to stop writing so much about myself, though. even though this is my blog...tomorrow i will have a topic that is more compelling and more applicable. can't wait?!

ouchie.

1. boxing club is so fun. i like it a lot now. and my two friends and i volunteered to be social committee chair members. we get to plan fun social events! whoo hoo!
2. long three hour class today after italian class. and i also watched two long movies but they were both pretty good--inside man and jackie brown.
3. still some homework to do. ugh. and the roach count for the day is two: one dead, one alive. now dead. 

have a migraine. strained my quads at boxing. tired and want to go to bed but can't. need to shower still. long day of classes tomorrow. miss my family/home friends/boyfriend/home/kitty. these are all the reasons i am not writing a long blog post! sorry...goodnight. talk tomorrow? YES!

no longer a teenage dream

1. talked with my boyfriend for part of the day. it was good to catch up and talk. i miss talking with him face-to-face, so computer talking will have to suffice for now. 
2. make pancakes for breakfast (!), cleaned the apartment living room/kitchen, did laundry, organized my room, did homework, made a red and green bell pepper and provolone quiche for dinner. um, can you say domestic?! 
3. read about premodern and early genocide allllll day. such a depressing topic! and not really helpful in my quest to remain upbeat and cheerful. but, i finally finished the 205 pages of reading and am getting to bed relatively early in prep for classes/homework/boxing club tomorrow. 

it*s a beautiful day. today has been a better day. an even better day will come in 104 day! that's not so long...right? i'm taking all of this a day at a time. just...life in general. my eyes are currently having trouble focusing since essentially i've looked in the same place all day today (two feet in front of me). but i am optimistic again and excited for the winding down of september and the starting up of october. i just had a thought that it will be very interesting for me to read through all these posts once the year is over. i've done it before, in may or somwhere in there, but reading the entire year from start to finish will be so gratifying. i'm glad that i kept note of three things from each day simply so i can be reminded of how things went on a daily basis. i want this year to finish out quickly, but that also means that another year is gone! 2010 has been so good to me so far, quite a bit better than 2009, that i'm nervous for it to end. 2011 will be a stressful year! okay, okay i've got to stop looking so far into the future! i think reading all this history is what makes me think long term (like two years is long term). my plan for the next time i have some downtime is to go back through and read the hunger games series. can't wait for that downtime to roll around! my bucket list item for tonight is rather mundane, but important to me and it needs to be set in stone: pick classes for the remaining three semesters that really are interesting to me and fit into a schedule that i am totally happy with. 

 

trying

1. had a long, hot afternoon sitting in the boiling sun for a football game that we didn't even win! the atmosphere was...fun for the most part. 
2. went to never ending pasta bowl night at olive garden with friends. it was so much food! but i didn't eat much during the day, so it wasn't as bad. i got three bowls and had leftovers from the last one. yummy carbs!
3. had a pretty boring night. we were all carb drunk and not into moving around much. then again, other people had fun but i just kind of sat there.

i'm trying to stay positive and trying to stay upbeat. i'll let you know how this goes...hope all is well for everyone reading this post. and this blog. thank you all for reading. i'll post better tomorrow when i'm feeling a little better.

lateness

1. so freakin' tired, this is unbelievable. have to wake up pretty early for the football game tomorrow too. but i'm excited!
2. having people over tonight for seven layer dip and cookies--let rock bottom friday begin! 
3. good day of classes; got out of italian early...again! and had a few participants to run before going back to the apartment to relax.

have to book my trip for the conference soon. i'm excited that october will be a busy month. staying busy is a good thing for me! i was kind of irritated tonight for a few hours but pretty much got over that when my friends came over. and i got to see friends from high school! that was fun. anyway, i've got to get some sleep before the football game and whatever antics are happening on saturday night. happy friday!

sono bionda!

1. long day of classes today, but my last class let out about 15 minutes early, so that was nice! and i didn't have much homework for friday so i got that knocked out quickly. 
2. finished mockingjay today! it was so so so good. and heartwrenching. but i won't spoil it any more! i want to go back and read them all very soon, probably over christmas break.
3. out to eat with my friends tonight; ladies' night is starting soon so i'm excited for that. i need some fun in my life right now. 

i've been the lamest blogger ever lately! someone asked me earlier why i had a blog and i explained the new year's resolution and how i wanted to make one that i actually stuck to this time around and he accepted it as an answer and gave the typical response of "oh, that's cool." but then i started to wonder why i really am doing this blog. it's been such a long time since i started this blog, or so it seems. i have to reacquaint myself with my reasoning. because sometimes it really is a pain in the ass to blog (as you can tell from my apologetic, short, lame blog posts). sometimes it just feels like a routine that i have to go through and a way to prove to myself that i can stick to a resolution. but then doesn't it seem a tad disingenuous to continue if my heart isn't in it? perhaps, but that's how spiteful i am. and stubborn. and determined. this is kind of like the italian homework i had tonight: describe yourself using adjectives you have learned so far. the ones i just used weren't on the list, unfortunately. anyway, i'm trying to be better about blogging. tonight was a semi-long post! i need to have more funny ones. maybe when i'm in a funnier mood. hopefully that will come soon!

let's fly away...

1. italian class today, a break during which i ate lunch and read for class/pleasure. then had lab time for two hours! boxing club tonight; it was hard, as always.
2. got stuff all worked out for my travel scholarship, i think. also got an email today about how i can apply for a travel scholarship for italy in the summer. that'd be nice!
3. you know i'm thinking you and your family...

don't feel much like talking tonight. i'm really tired and it's been a long day. lots of things are on my mind and most of them are stressful. i wish it were the weekend so i could just relax some and de-stress. but i'll keep on plugging and get through. i feel like i've been emotionally and mentally and spiritually boxed as well as physically.

destiny's child?

1. long day. lots of homework, three classes, some interpersonal stress to boot. i really enjoy all my classes though, so that is a definite plus. the one i was most excited about in the beginning of the year (history of genocide and the holocaust) will probably end up being one of my lesser favorites simply because of the time frame. but i like my southern lit class and my film and culture classes a lot. and italian, obviously.
2. saw some friends today i don't usually see. talked with my mom and sister and boyfriend. got ready for school tomorrow. skipped crossfit because it was supposed to be hella hard (like, squatting with people thrown over your back like a sack of potatoes and bench pressing people. that kind of hella hard). and i walked a fair amount today and was also still a little sore from boxing. i need to catch up on sleep, too.
3. buuuut what might prevent that sleep catch-up is the new book i started, mockingjay. i won't say anything in case people want to read it, but it's great so far! it's so easy for me to devour novels...why is it not that easy to read academic material?

being independent is important to me. it always has been and it always will be. i like to be strong, stubborn, and my own person. college has really helped me embrace that part of myself and to move away from the high school-y clique-ish mentality that so pervades life as a female. i care less now about trying to please everyone, especially if it means being fake, and just living my life to make myself and those i care most about happy. obviously i'm not turning into some sort of monster or anything, i just don't care as much about stupid drama anymore. reason number high-on-the-list i am not involved with greek life. i have really come into a state of happiness in these past several months and i'm overjoyed that college is suddenly turning into the time in my life when i figure out who i am like everyone told me. it just feels right and it feels good (although one part of my life is currently residing elsewhere). so these are good feelings and i get good vibes about this year. we'll see how it goes! so far i was right about 2010 being a great year, but there is still time for the universe to throw that in my face (ever superstitious!).

let's be real.

1. such a long day today, it was ridiculous. only had two classes but i had a quiz in one and the other one is a three hour class that meets once a week. and in between classes i had to watch two movies and read a lot and write a response. it's been crazy.
2. took a fifteen minute nap before boxing club. it was so hard, of course! but i think it'll be worth it for sure. going with friends makes it a lot better. 
3. have been working ever since i got back from boxing. still have to find time to take a shower and then finally get some sleep. ahhhh please let it be the middle of the week already. or better yet, the weekend!

i hate enablers. i was watching this show on drug addicts and got so angry about the families. they just excuse the addiction and make it seem not as bad as it is and continue the cycle of addiction. an addiction is inexcusable and totally beatable. it takes unbelievable will/determination/support. but families cannot be a copout for addicts. they cannot feel this sense of responsibility and loyalty when it is destroying the addict. that is unfair and horrible and will slowly ruin the addict's life. i know that i've never had to deal with an addict but it's just not fair how families perpetuate addiction because they don't want to be forceful or mean or harsh. but sometimes tough love is the best way to show how much you really do love someone.

laughing makes for flat abs

1. had the most amazing weekend ever. it was pure fun. 
2. left the beach today and came back to lots of homework and even more hilarious pictures. SUCH fun times; i love weekends; i love college; i love my life. 
3. have some homework to catch up on, but that is totally fine with me. i'm almost caught up, but will probably have to skip boxing club tomorrow night to get truly caught up.

my friends are so important to me. i spend so much time laughing and having a great time. there are definitely "circle of trust" moments as well. i am just in a great mood and had a great weekend. it's times like these that keep me upbeat and happy and not ruminating, although it is always on my mind. now it's time to buckle down for a new week! bucket list item: make presents for my friends.

DAAAA beach

1. woke up this morning and cleaned the apartment before leaving for the beach. 
2. the beach has been so much fun so far! we were in the water for a long time today, then took naps on the beach, hot tub, dinner, catch phrase (!), more hanging out on the beach and in the hot tub. 
3. going home early tomorrow so that i can do mad work. and hopefully eat pasta at olive garden's never ending pasta bowl promotion.

i don't feel like blogging tonight. i'm so tired from last night and the beach today and these past few days in general.

winning london!

1. early blog post tonight...maybe i'm learning! at the almost end of this blog, haha. 
2. my italian class let out early again and then i went to a luminary lighting for the culmination of suicide prevention week. up next was a meeting for a psych lab and then chill out time. 
3. went to noodles (yum) and then started prep for the people coming over tonight! goodbye, dear suitie! you will be missed...but you'll have an awesome time! 

can't wait, can't wait, can't wait for this weekend!!! we're having people over tonight to celebrate, then going to the beach tomorrow for the night with our friends in a house that sleeps 30 people! that's such a huge house, and we're going for free, save gas money. BALLER. but really, so cool. and i have a lot of work this weekend but i know that i can get it all done. this is what being a junior is all about, i guess. balancing work and fun. that's weird--i'm a junior. okay, no time for a temporary freak out session. time to have fun! and be save, obviously.

planning a trip!

1. long day of classes today, broken up by...reading for classes! but the weekend is fast approaching. 
2. had all the guys over tonight and made brownies and had good talks! circle of trust=good. roaches=bad. 
3. time to sleeeep and get ready for class tomorrow and then the closing of national suicide prevention week.

i am pretty sure the people in my film and culture class hate me. i always try to present the views of the place where i grew up and to try and bring some perspective to the class. but i think i just make enemies. we talked about american history x this week and everyone was just saying the same stuff over and over so i tried to just bring in a new viewpoint. obviously i'm not a skinhead, people. i just don't like when discussions are one-sided and boring and too liberal/unrealistic. so now i pissed those people off (but made excellent points, might i add). then today, i brought up the feminine role in the film and made the feminists of the class angry. but people were just saying stupid stuff about how the sister and mom were strong female figures and i totally disagreed! they never stood up to derek for more than a few minutes (before backing down), they totally ignored all his skinhead and racist ideology and practices, and after prison they took him back into their lives like nothing ever happened. and they tolerated the same bullshit from danny. i'm sorry, but i do not respect that, or see those women in a positive/strong feminine light. so now the feminists are angry at me. oh freakin' well. i feel that i made intelligent, thoughtful remarks and the teacher seemed to agree with/think about my points. and she is the one who ultimately assigns the grade.

stick and jab!

1. had a long, busy day today. class at ten, then meetings and commitments from then on out until around four. at least i was productive.
2. went to boxing club for the first meeting and it was an intense workout! but i'm joining with two other friends of mine and hopefully it will whip us into shape. 
3. this week is national suicide prevention week. comment if you want information about how you can get information about ways you can help (including funding my out of the darkness walk hosted by the AFSP).

the plan for boxing club and crossfit? to get in shape. i used to be in really great shape when i played soccer. i went to the gym 4-5 days a week in high school after i quit soccer, but never really kept up a strict regimen in college. i gained a few pounds and you can't even really tell, but i just want to feel and look how i used to. so my goal is so get in great cardiovascular shape and get as toned as a girl with a body type me can. i just feel really motivated and really ready to look how i used to and feel how i used to. not that i look or feel bad now by any means...i just want to get back to my status quo. but i also don't want to become consumed with calorie counting or anything like that. as long as i look and feel great and am happy and eating well, that's what counts for me. whoo hoo for enthusiasm!

meh.

1. had two classes today instead of three--that was a bright spot!
2. got to talk to my parents and my boyfriend. did some homework and hung out before...
3. crossfit! it was really hard. but i'm glad i did it. i plan on going on thursday too. 

not really in the mood to blog tonight (shocker). but i will post about america and our society and the movie and the class i had today. i promise! maybe on thursday since that's when i have my next class. it'll be a good, long post--i promise! now it's bed time.

Xcuses

1. had a lazy day. chatted with my boyfriend, did some homework, cleaned/finally bought kitchen stuff. 
2. watched american history x and cried. one of the most powerful movies i have ever seen.
3. then, saw this article. why is life so painfully ironic sometimes? http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100907/ap_on_re_as/as_afghanistan

i am just in shock about the state of our society. but i'd rather not go into a societal rant this late at night/early in the morning. i'll save that for tomorrow. trust me, i won't forget about the thoughts going on in my head now...utter disbelief.

finally a good bucket.

1. woke up kinda late (before noon, but still). cleaned the apartment, read some poetry homework, painted my toenails, took a shower. 
2. ate a delicious salad for dinner. got to talk to my boyfriend today! and just hung out all day. it was so nice. i love sundays. 
3. got to look at pictures from sevilla! it seems like a gorgeous and funky city. hopefully a fun night is ahead of me (yes, i am blogging before i get too tired). 

bucket list item: keep a travel blog but also a travel journal from now forward for extended trips.